My Once Complicated Love Life.

My love life was once very complicated. Back then, if you ask me if I was single or in a relationship, I will say "I am single but I am with someone"(Funny right? 😂) That was how complicated my love life was! I didn't even know what I was doing.

That year (2020) there was this guy I loved so much. I felt he was in love with me too because back then, we were always chatting. We could spend hours talking on phone talking about meaningless things(Back then, they didn't look meaningless but now, I just feel they were).

All of a sudden, I noticed he wasn't really calling again and was only chatting me up once in a while. I kept asking myself what went wrong because everything changed all of a sudden. Out of curiosity, I called him one day and I asked him what was wrong. I was expecting him to explain things to me but what he said shocked me.

Guess what he said? "Nothing is wrong" It's just that my girlfriend is back"

Eiiii! I wanted to cry but I managed to hold back the tears(I was doing strong girl😂). As a big girl that I was and I am, I pretended as if I wasn't pained and so, I ended the call by saying "Oh! It's okay"😂. But deep down in my heart, I was pained! Infact! I cried myself to sleep that night.

So, you mean he just used me to fill in the gap for his girlfriend who was probably angry with him for something he did? Gosh! I was pained.

Back then, I blamed him for hurting me and even though I didn't say much to him, I was bitter. I hated him for using me as a substitute.

But now that I am wiser, I have stopped blaming him because I was the one that wasn't wise. If I had defined the relationship back then or I had asked him to tell me what he wanted from me, everything that happened wouldn't have happened.

See, there's nothing bad in asking a guy to tell you why he's always messaging you. You can ask him questions like "I notice you've been calling and checking up on me really well since the beginning of this month, is there something you want to tell me"? "What do you want from me? Friendship or relationship"? "Is there something you want to tell me that you are not telling me? Asking questions like this will help you to know what the guy in question really wants and will help you to know where you stand in his life.

I said I wasn't wise that's why that guy did what he did to me. If I had defined my friendship/relationship with him or I had asked him questions immediately he came to me, what happened wouldn't have happened. I am pretty sure he didn't even like me, he was just using me to "fill in the gap" for his girlfriend.

If you notice a guy is checking up on you constantly, please; ask him what he wants from you(ask in a polite manner).

Don't assume he likes you because he's constantly calling and texting. Don't assume he likes you because he's always buying you gifts. Ask questions!

There are some guys that are just naturally nice. The same way they treat you is the way they treat other ladies. If you assume they like you when you are not sure, you might end up being served breakfast (What we call heartbreak in Nigeria).

Asides that, there are guys that just love being with different girls. They jump from one girl to another. Please, be careful not to fall for those kind of guys because they serve each girl they meet "Breakfast". You have to guard your heart so you don't get hurt.

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to guard your heart🤩