Welcome to this article dear friends, today I want to talk about something that happened to me personally. Something like a life lesson, the important thing about these events is to make the most of them, because it is not common and I can't only see the negative side of things.
For several days now I have been feeling a kind of tiredness, my body was somehow trying to tell me that something was not right, on the other hand, I was being too stupid not to notice it, my work stress was somehow directly affecting my whole organism and I was innocently not feeling certain hormonal changes.
This happened because less than a month ago there was a change of boss in the company where I work daily, my job is to supervise the production of products as well as that each worker in that area complies with the established, example good performance, punctual arrival time and behavior in the work area.
As with all supervisory positions, I am required to do a little more than the rest, due to these demands I stopped eating on time, my rest time was decreasing to nothing, with the days I was gradually feeling the fatigue in my body, I thought it was just wear, I did not do more care and continued with my daily routine.
Approximately 8 days later I had my first collapse, my body stopped responding and for the first time I felt like I was trying to do something and I couldn't move as usual, I felt scared, I panicked and this didn't help much, some colleagues came to help me sit down and relax a little. During that same day my body started to regain its energy and I thought that what had happened would never happen again.
That's what I thought, until two days ago I had another episode, my worried boss has given me 15 days off, where I have to do some tests looking for an explanation to what happened, today I finished doing some tests, I just have to wait, I am a little anxious, I really hope it is not something very bad, I would not like to have to change the way I live because I like it, but if necessary then I will do it.
I also share the study I attended a psychotherapist, I had not gone to one before until now, my EXPERIENCE has been rewarding, I feel somehow that in my first session which was more of exploration I touched some points that normally I do not do and one of them caused me a lot of discomfort, I do not know what is happening there, but according to the specialist it is some open process. The interesting thing about all this is that this process is not what I mainly went there for but somehow it is latent there and that also indirectly affects my thoughts and my personality.
Short introduction
Part of my open process is because since I was little I had very little communication with my parents, most of the time they were working and I was alone most of the time, during all my childhood and part of my adolescence it was like that, at the moment of arriving at the High School I tried to involve my parents more in my affairs, I mentioned to them what was happening to me at school and also the good grades I had, although it was in vain my parents did not notice my desperation for the lack of attention and lack of affection from both of them.
As the years went by I realised that no matter what I did I was not going to receive their attention as I wished, or at least that is what I thought, according to the specialist part of that lack of affection and attention today has led me to a point of emotional stress where my whole life has been based on an attempt to demonstrate all that I have achieved so far.
What I think...
I think so many things, including how our psyche acts, I really had no idea how something from childhood and adolescence is still latent in my thoughts and therefore in my personality, I also think that now that I know the reason for so many sleepless nights without being able to sleep a little is a product of the same, so much thinking led me to a gorge, the worst thing is that for so many years I did not know the weight I carried emotionally and that it was caused without wanting to, I would not like to say that my parents are to blame although it is the reality, not all people know what it is to be a father or a mother, we can have the material we can have the economic resolved, but how important it is to be able to have a life free of affective deficiencies and marks in childhood, these two big variables bring with them a quantity of illnesses and bad development of the personality of many people including me.
Today knowing my latent lack of affection I understand so many behaviours on my part, I was just my child self trying to go out and look for what was taken away from me since I was a child, the love and affection of my parents, sometimes just a hug from a parent can be more stimulus than any gift. That my dear readers I learned late but true, as it takes a "well done" or an "I love you son" or maybe not a word but a hug or praise or any positive encouragement from my parents would have changed everything.
I am not sad to tell you this, on the contrary it gives me strength and above all it helps me to better evaluate everything that is happening to me, it is important to be able to look for the positive side. It is important to be able to look for the positive side. Now that I know that I am suffering, I should continue attending therapy until I can be at peace with myself, not only that I would like to continue attending therapy because it helps me to feel good, to be able to understand so many processes and look for so many answers that did not make sense, now today I understand that my questions were being badly evaluated and that I should reform the way in which I was perceiving my environment.
Part of my therapy is to be able to drain everything that I feel and to be able to express it helps me to make sense of my thoughts, some of the words of my therapist stayed with me, among them "We must learn to give form to our problems, otherwise, how will we know what we are facing? The way I find to be able to give form is to write, to count with you my dear friends a part of me and with a lot of hope to be able to solve things, looking to improve my lifestyle.
Several weeks after what happened.
I am back in my work area doing my duty I can't change the fact that everything that happened although it seemed bad, had a happy ending, I can't say it wasn't worth it either because I would be lying. Today I am a new girl with a positive attitude and dynamic thoughts, in search of my Happiness.
