Stare inside

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1 year ago

Maybe I'm the worst human being ever present in this world. About steps that are increasingly clubbing, teetering along all the scattered thorns and pebbles. Not to mention the mud that sticks and becomes tough, as well as the moss that smoothes the whole road. Time and time again I slipped. Many times I repeat all the mistakes with hasty steps. I am a human being who today is worse than yesterday.

I'm still taking care of other people's roads. Yelling them about blind covering. Whispering them about the pebbles that turn into thorns.

I haven't finished looking inward yet, so why should I read anything else. It's like you opening several chapters of a novel and then dumping them and looking for new pages from a different novel. The ending you're looking for can't be found.

Questions about who I was kept on flowing non-stop. Questions about the expected ending or about the purpose of all these life stories. Actually, what am I looking for?

The more I looked outside, the more I lost my way. The signs elbow each other giving messages. The guides butted heads at each other, shouted indiscriminately, cursed nonstop, pointing fingers with their mouths open and muscles rising. The messages that came in confused me. The more obscure about the meaning of a journey: destination.

Stare inside. The visible twists of the road are also no easier. There were various wars there. Immediately I closed my eyes, plugged my ears, then all the war that was going on was increasingly heard and seen clearly. Sounds coming from somewhere. Thoughts that don't want to get tired to pause. Chaos inside.

It turned out that the way in was like a ladder. You fix many things from the path you go through. About humans, self, and nature. It's not easy to become a new person in a blink of an eye. Is a process that guides you, runs you, guides you. Even I, who felt that he was high but turned out to be rotten here and there.

Pause. Ignore all signs. Cover the ears of all the guides. Gaze within: for within it, there is the real you.

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