Sincerity: Acting and Charity without Falsehood

The image of a person may be in accordance with the actual reality, but not infrequently it is a form of falsehood, as well as the image of ourselves in the minds of others. We often deceive or deceive others and ourselves by displaying a false image that is not our real reality. This shows how much we depend on other people's judgments about us.

This dependence on judgment and praise has made so many people fear their fellow men more than God. When a person is in an environment where many people know him, he tries to behave as best he can to maintain his image. However, when he is in a place where no one is likely to know him, he does not hesitate to commit despicable deeds.

A person by profession as a teacher, for example, may be afraid to do something inappropriate when he is in a place where many of his students know him. Employees show good performance when they are in front of their superiors. Parents may be good role models when they are around their children. A husband shows his great love for his wife only when she is beside him. They are examples of people who are more afraid of their fellow humans. When they are away from the environment of the people who know them, of course the story will be different.

Apart from showing off, another way that people use to maintain their image is by accentuating their egotism, boasting, and arrogance. Selfishness is maintaining the image that a person has by showing off how great he is. Someone who has an ego problem is always trying to show his ego. Without being asked, he detailed his success to everyone he met. He disclosed all his wealth, the expensive items he had recently bought, even on credit, or the successes of his children.

A braggart is a person who tries to maintain his image by distorting the facts about himself. When we meet such a person for the first time, we may be taken aback by his convincing appearance and speech. In just a few minutes, the brag has bombarded his interlocutor by revealing all his personal affairs, about the amount of income he earns every month, about his promotions, about the house he lives in, about people he knows, even about people he knows. still waiting for his love. However, all of this is just a hoax.

As for arrogance, it means puffing up your chest by looking down on others. An arrogant person turns his face when he shakes hands with another person who he views as inferior to him. He didn't want to sit with people who were lower in level because he thought that sitting with them would degrade his image. Most arrogant people are disrespectful people. Therefore, their behavior was all made up.

In social life, of course, everyone gives each other an assessment and praise. But, when such things have become dependent for every time we act, it is a big problem. Dependence on the judgment and praise of others can be a dangerous manipulator. The more we need judgment and praise, the more we are manipulated by others.

Showing off, selfishness, boasting, and arrogance are undoubtedly forms of dependence on the judgment of others. Everyone certainly likes to be applauded as a sign of admiration, to be kissed when shaking hands as a sign of respect, praise and flattery, or something like that. However, when things like that have become a measure of our self-image, this means we have given up our self-esteem to others. Consequently, when the other person refuses to give it to us, we are forced to feel empty and lose our confidence.

Reliance on judgment and praise has left many people unable to work without it. This is unhealthy behavior. Judgment, respect, praise, or the like from others are only temporary illusions. They will neither fill nor strengthen our souls. On the contrary, it will only weaken our strength, not empower it.

Therefore, the habit of wanting to get judgement and praise from others must be kept out of our lives if we want to have a good personality. It is ironic, the people who almost always get a good image are those who work sincerely, that is, those who do not need, do not care, and are not crazy about getting other people's assessments.

A person's motivation to take an action is either internal or external. The first motivation comes from within the person himself. He chooses freely what he does. The second motivation comes from outside himself; he performs an action because of the control of the people around him. While the ultimate goal of the action can be to get God's pleasure or maybe just get someone else's assessment.

The motivation of people who are sincere in charity comes from within themselves with the aim of getting God's pleasure. This means that he is free from the shackles of other people's opinions in his every action.

His success in moving the area of ​​control from external to internal is a direct result of his success in holding himself accountable for his actions. This sincere person is indeed different from most people. He is very independent in his actions; able to move forward even without being judged by others, not crazy about honor, admiration, praise, or anything like that because he really didn't care much about those kinds of things. He was almost never bothered by how other people looked at him. For him only God is the only goal.

This sincere person almost never feels annoyed or made helpless just because of the scorn or criticism of others. He always filters every judgment and information from anyone who comes through his own standard of judgment and then uses it to improve himself.

And finally, sincere people are people who because of their sincerity have a strong determination and will to change themselves for the better. Turn dependence into independence, despair into hope, failure into success, shock into stability, enmity into brotherhood, and envy into competition in doing good. Verily he, because of Allah, is the one who is able to walk the path leading to Him.