My Story
Recently, there have been many things that I need and think about myself, family, work, future, love, and the human journey which is death. About myself, about the possible journey from being born until now, until I was formed as I am now, like the story of an ordinary human life that has various stories of the past or what I consider history. happiness, pride, loss, and so on.
Maybe all the stories of life's journeys that have been passed or are currently running will shape who I am, my nature and character, feelings and thoughts. to be honest for now there are many things that I can't understand properly, what are the positives and negatives? what is the impact and wisdom? but I believe that the journey of life that is passed is like a small series that composes into something, and that form is myself.
About family, a family that I am very proud of and grateful for for having a great family. a family that makes me so afraid to lose them, a family that never stops proud of me, even though I hesitate to boast of myself. but that pride is what triggers me to always try to do good, even though it's not really good at least I don't do bad things that make my family disappointed.
Regarding work, when I first started working, maybe I didn't have full intentions like people who are looking for rupiah to make ends meet, that doesn't mean I don't need it, but indeed my biggest intention after graduating from school was initially going to college. what we plan does not necessarily come true, was disappointed but what power must be accepted gracefully. must accept that the path that must be taken is not as desired, must be aware that the fantasy of the story is not what it is in the scenario.
Working with zero experience, with minimal insight and determination, by doing something big and difficult for me, changing habits and trying to adapt to the many unfamiliar things in the city. As time went by, gradually I was able to follow the path that made me realize that this is real life, not living in times at home where everything depends on your parents, times when the heaviest burden is just a task from school or memorizing from a recitation teacher. . this is the real life that demands being forced into adulthood, this is the real life where to play there is no longer free time.
Regarding the future, this matter must be related to my current job. Sometimes I think and feel how about my current job. if i have to be honest, this is again not what i want, not ungrateful but the heart can never lie, especially sometimes the situation and condition of the heart is not always good to be the antidote to being bored and wanting to rebel. this is not about a comfortable job with neat clothes, but about inner satisfaction. it's no longer about the rupiah wages that you get, but happiness that always fulfills life, I believe that happiness doesn't need to be measured by material things, it's not that you don't want to be rich but you have to see that in fact everything depends on power and effort.
I want to work with things that match my hobbies, have free time to explore nature, have the freedom to breathe the serene morning air without being burdened, get out of the monotonous zone, become a human who surrenders and is very grateful to God. how delicious it will be when I am old, is sitting pretty with a small family that is quite simple, telling the experiences of youth who have traveled to various cities in the archipelago. beautiful indeed and amen.
About love, about sensitive things, drama, full of lessons, and matures. this is beyond the overwhelming love of the family. About love, what I define is the most addictive gift, a gift that I sometimes misinterpret with passion. in the name of love there are many hearts that I have hurt without ever wanting to care, in the name of love there are also hearts that I let torn apart because of holding on to hopes that slowly melt away, and in the name of love I have neglected other love. now, that exists because of the past, true love that many humans have embraced I want, hope and pray that God still wants to believe, I have love.
And the last one is about death, this is what I think about more seriously, not just thinking about it, there is awareness but never changes, there is fear but it never deters. This is about my communication with God, about being obedient and negligent which I will be responsible for, because humans die not stop and finish, there will be a next phase that must be passed. I myself believe that the journey of the world that we fill will determine heaven and hell, so of course we have to prepare everything. death is a mystery but sure, no one knows when it will come, and we don't know how much longer we live. Right now I'm trying to be better, even though I'm still windy, but I'm also a human who is sometimes still tempted by the lust of the world.
