3 Simple Habits that Calm Me.

Do you want to know what always fascinates me?

People who seem to have this inner calm and control. They’re just there and it’s all fine. It’s comforting. Can you think of anyone like that?

I feel like I don’t meet those kinds of people very often. I’d like to think I am that person sometimes. Or at least, when I picture my best self, that’s what I see.

How about you? Do you feel that way often? Just completely calm. There. As present and alive as one can feel.

When do you feel that way? Do you even care to?

I’ve asked myself that question a lot. I wish I could answer “oh, you know, pretty much all the time!”. But that wouldn’t exactly be the truth….But there are moments when I do feel that. Fully. Completely. Sometimes it’s random, like when I catch myself dancing while cooking, and then it proceeds to sing, and before I know it, I’m feeling incredibly alive. Everything else can wait. Let’s just say I’ve burnt my food more than a couple of times Other times, I can’t feel that way even if I try!

I’d like to share some of the routines that bring me to, or at least close to, that state of mind. I wish I would explain more clearly what exactly I mean by that feeling, I think it’s quite difficult, but if I had to try, I’d say “being able to experience the moment for what it is without disruptive thoughts”.

Now, none of these routines that I’m about to bring up are epic or groundbreaking by any means, but they’re moments during the day when I disconnect from everything else. And in today’s world, I guess calling it groundbreaking wouldn’t be that farfetched. In all seriousness though, I’m not here to deliver anything groundbreaking, I never have been. I'm just a fellow human going through life, trying to find things and ways that make this journey here on earth feel more pleasant, and I want to share some of what I've found, and perhaps it’ll make your journey here a little bit more pleasant, too. try to take you through these routines in the chronological order of which my days usually play out.

Early morning yoga.

So… Alright… good morning world.

I’ve been starting each morning on my yoga mat.

Now, yoga isn’t new to me, I’ve been doing it on and off for years, and each time I’m back, I ask myself, “why the hell did I ever stop?”. So strange, us humans are. We know something will make us feel great, yet we deliberately choose not to do it.

When I do yoga, I don’t think about the past or the future. I acknowledge how one of my arms seems to be significantly stronger than the other. I notice how stiff my neck is. I take not of how I’m slowly but surely becoming more flexible. I’m just there.

My morning coffee comes with a side of French. Not French toast – French as in the language. Yep, I’m doing it. I’m setting the bar low, one word or phrase a day, in the hopes that I will choose to stick with it.

I mean, imagine this, if you learn one word per day, that’s 365 words in a year! If you learn two words per day, that’s 730 words! That’s a lot more than you knew when starting! It’s quite incredible.

So, okay, what? I’m confused. Studying a language makes you feel cool calm and collected? Cool? No doubt. As for calm and collected, yes, actually. It’s yet another thing that forces me to be in the moment, and I find it soothing. And fun, of course. Now, if I were to study French in school and have to take tests, it might’ve been a different story, but I’m doing it on my own, at least for now. No pressure. No rush. I’ve painted this picture in my head of me living in the French countryside, being able to fully communicate with the locals. So, if I ever feel like quitting, I’ll just return to that picture.

Going on long walks

Alright, let’s talk about taking walks. Now, I know, I know, I talk about going on walks so much you’d think I’m an 8-month-old baby who just learned to use her legs and is fascinated by it, but you know it had to make the list. There are just so many variations of walking!

1) You could go quietly, with no headphones in, just you and your surroundings.

2) You could listen to a song that makes you feel like the main character of any movie of choice.

I sometimes listen to “raindrops keep falling on my head”, and I walk down the street feeling like the world is mine! But usually, I’ll just put on my best shoes (that part is crucial), I’ll pack a light bag consisting of an umbrella, a water bottle, and something to sit on, and I’ll set a destination because I feel like it adds to the fun and it motivates me to keep going, even when the raindrops start to fall on my head, which they’ve been doing a lot recently here in Stockholm.

Reading more

Now, I’d like to tell you something and see if you can relate. Here we go. So, there’s this one thought that I get sometimes that can make me feel pretty anxious. It’s the thought of all the books that I want to read and all the things that I want to learn, and the devastating reality that a lifetime is not enough to read or learn even 0,0001 % of that. So, at the start of this year, I committed myself to read more. I got myself a Kindle, and while I don’t intend to transform into a reading machine, I’m reading more now, which has been great. But another unexpected benefit has been that my kindle has replaced a lot of the scrolling that I would do on my phone. I bring it with me to bed and the bathroom. I feel a lot better putting my kindle down after having spent an hour on it, as opposed to putting my phone down after having spent an hour on it.

For that reason alone, It’s been one of my best purchases in a long time. I assume I don’t need to explain why reading brings me into that state of mind that we’re talking about, there’s just nothing quite like getting lost in a different world for a moment. Also, it has re-kindled my love for some of the poetry that I would enjoy in the past. I’ve been reading Mary Oliver and it’s absolute bliss. I’ll leave a link below for some of my favourite works of hers.

When do you find yourself in the moment and without disruptive thoughts?

I’d love to hear it and I know everyone else would as well. Let’s exchange some ideas. Also, was there ever anything that you used to be skeptical about, but then once you tried it, it proved your skepticism wrong?