Gratitude

The word gratitude comes from the Latin word gratia; it means grace. Gratitude is a feeling of appreciation for what one has in life, and an appreciation that could not exist without being alive. Gratitude is unconditional. In this way it is very different from the English words thankfulness, or obligation. Thankfulness refers to a feeling of appreciation of something specific, such as an unexpected gift or kindness, which could have easily not happened. An obligation refers to the fulfillment of an expected act or service, which can be avoided by a counter offer. Where gratitude is a constant appreciation for being alive, thankfulness and obligation can be switched off by actions or decisions that differ from certain expectations.

People who experience gratitude do not need to wait for good things to happen to feel good about their lives; they already feel good about being alive. Therefore, gratitude is a state of mind where you are open to receiving that which you are grateful for. From my own experience, gratitude is a very powerful state of mind. It can change your whole perspective on life and people around you. It makes you more generous and forgiving towards yourself and others, and it allows you to see opportunities in the future that it did not seem like there were any before.

What is gratitude? Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; it is being grateful for what an individual has. Most people think about gratitude in the context of material possessions, but it's more than just receiving a gift or earning a paycheck. Gratitude is recognizing that our lives are better in some way because of another person's efforts.

Gratitude opens our eyes to the good in our lives and helps us realize that we have more than what we need.

The only thing that keeps gratitude from becoming a powerful force in your life is the belief that it isn't a necessity. Consider this: If you are unhappy with your home, do you think you would be happier if you moved into a larger, more lavish house?   No, because then you'd just want something else. Chasing more never ends, but gratitude doesn't require anything outside of us.

Gratitude doesn't come easily to everyone, but there are two practices that can help cultivate it. First, remind yourself of what you have. An easy way to do this is with a gratitude journal. Each night before you go to bed, write down three things you're grateful for and how they affected your life that day. Second, spend time with people who know how to be grateful.

I have a mental block called "gratitude". The words gratitude and grateful are just not something I say.

It's a word that sounds great when you're on Oprah giving thanks for your awesome life and expensive cars, but it's a very different for me as a woman who has been through so much horrible shit that I find it impossible to feel grateful for anything.

There is no one to be grateful for. Our parents didn't do shit for us. They did their job and fucked off. I can't be grateful to them for their shitty choices and how they decided to neglect and emotionally abuse me, or my brother, or the dozen other kids in the neighborhood that they were equally neglectful towards.

I don't give a fuck if they worked day and night so we could eat and have clothes on our backs. They made shitty choices that they never apologized or acknowledged as mistakes, so there is no need to thank them for anything.

I am grateful to other people though. I'm grateful to my friends and family that love me unconditionally and have been there for me through all of my hardships, or have shown empathy or support when I've told them the abuse stories. And I'm grateful that there are amazing people like you out here in the world who support other women, like myself, who've been through this shit, by reading my words.

People often ask me, "What is gratitude?" It means so many things, but really it is an attitude of appreciation for the things and people in our life. It's a mental shift that makes us focus on what we have and who we have in our lives (and not on what we don't or who we don't).

We never want to take anything for granted. We are all so very lucky. I hope you can take a minute today to be grateful for something. If you need ideas, here are a few:

1. Your health and wellness.

2. The love of your family/friends/partner/dog/cat/gold fish

3. Your job, if you have one

4. The sunlight outside your window

It doesn't have to be something big — it could be something as simple as making yourself a cup of tea or finally putting together that Ikea shelf you've been putting off for weeks…if we all do a little, we'll do a lot.