Reasons Why I Am Scared to Grow Old

I am young but I'm already worried about growing old. So many uncertainties are running on my mind about it. I am not trying to predict the future but I am very scared to grow old one day. Whenever I looked into the elderlies, some are happy and some are not. I somehow think about what makes the person happy in their old age. Is it the financial stability or is it the family?

I am still 20 and a lot will say that's still a baby age. In fact I still feel my mind hasn't totally matured. I sometimes feel pressured by the society who is putting a label into everything we do in life. The set expectations for every stages of our age. The role we need to acquire. The tasks we need to be successful at. Everything that everyone expected you to be. I am not putting a high standards to myself, I just sometimes feel scared to be left behind.

I will list down all of the things that's making me scared to grow old and here's why:

Not being financially stable while others are

They say life is not a race. Yes it is not except when you are at your old age, everyone wants to know how much wealth you have built and how much savings you have earned. This is like the final battle of our lives and this is how we will be judged at the end of our physical lives.

Being alone without a family

I always think that relationships are not for me. In fact I can imagine being single for rest of my life. I am scared that I'm going to be alone one day without a family of my own. I'm scared to be home with no one by my side.

Losing all memories from the brain

I heard a lot about old people getting Alzheimer's disease and it's very sad that they don't remember anyone. It is like the body was still there but the person wasn't there anymore. It is no different to the dead person. I am scared to experience this one day.

Being sick and weak

They said all your bad habits are tolerated in your younger years but once you get old, you will reap all the bad habits you planted before. It's so dramatically depressing when you cannot do the things you love to do because your body can't do no more.

I know how very young I am yet to worry so early about these things. There are really times of my life where I think about old and aging life. If there are advices I am getting from the old people, they said enjoy your younger years as much as you can. I have taken that advices by heart because I know I will be only young once and I'm not going to experience it over again.

If only we can stay young forever, I would chose to be. Sadly, there's nothing like that. We need to accept that we'll get older and then die. I don't have problem about death because there is no reason to exist forever. I just want the younger years to be longer.

There are also times on my life where I get depressed thinking about adulthood. I am scared that my high school classmates before won't be so easy to approach in the future because they are so high standards to befriend. The reason why these things occupied my mind is because of the experience of others.

I do not have a phobia about being old because I believe we all humans need to go through that. I am only scared about the life of being an old one. The changes and the life's turning point. If you are young like me, you don't have to worry as much as I do. I am not going to have a fear forever because one day I will realized all of these things. As a human being, we all have fear about life and I guess this is my fear. The uncertainties and the doubts are what makes these things a little scary.

March 19, 2022