@Sydney2
more from that month
A Child As an Investment In The Filipino Family: Let Us End This
Let us end the cycle of children carrying the burden of their parents and raising the whole family. In Filipino typical life, it is not new to find a breadwinner inside the family. Most often they are the eldest of the family and they have been loaded with lots of responsibility, from supporting financial aspect of the family up to the studies of every siblings. **Being the first child in the Filipino family means the success of your whole family depends on you.** If you are the first born, you need to get ready yourself because you need to become a **strong** and **independent** **person** to help your family one day. There is nothing bad in helping your family but in these situations happening in Filipino life, the parent expect their child to raise them and support the family financially which is what the child should not do because they also have to build their own life. Some work overseas to support the family financially, to build the house and to finish all the siblings in their studies. This is the reason why, most of the Filipino breadwinners, doesn't get married even they're close to 40s because they have chose to work on their responsibility of the family. **But is it the responsibility of the child to raise the whole family?** That is why we have a mother and a father. A mother who will take care the child at home and a father who will work to support the family. But in Filipino life, the child work hard to raise the family endlessly. This is so sweet of our children in the country right. During these times, it already become a norm that a child should raise the family and it is already expected that being the first child means your salary should be given to your family. `The reason why I disagree for a child as an investment is because a parent shouldn't expect their child to raise the family. There is even a saying here that the more child you have, the more blessings you will have in the future. Yes, it is a blessing in the future indeed but in what way do you call it as a blessing`*?* It is also worrying to see that due to this pandemic, the unplanned children inside the family are increasing. The most horrible is that majority of them are still young to start a family and have children with. Teenage pregnancy is a big problem because how can a young one raise a young one too especially when there are still no financial source? This is a serious problem. Everyone must learn that building a family is not playing a game. Marriage is not for fun. Children are not just offspring. **There is no breadwinner if..** There is no breadwinner in the whole family if the parents planned their marriage first before entering into a wedlock. If they have work hard enough and save for the family. If they have control the amount of their child. If they have just planned everything before building a family then I guess there is no first born child carrying the responsibility as if the whole world was laid upon its shoulder. Do you think in the future this will end? It is a wrong mindset we have that one day our child will take us out from the chain of poverty. This is the reason why it's hard to live a good life because we love to enter a family life dreaming of many children who will support us one day. We need to learn educating everyone about building a stable family. Do not rely your future to the child. It's time to wake up that kids are not a physical investment for future stability in life. This cycle must end and let the children build their own future one day too.
**February 9, 2022**
76 comments
I agree with this, it's in Filipino culture that eldest son will be the one to carry the responsibility to support the family. It's such a horrible system that needs to wboosh since parents sees their children as an investment plan, that's the reason why they made lots of offspring inorder to have more chances of luck that all of them will become succesufl someday and lift them from poverty. Someday when I got old and I have my children then I don't want them to take a burden to support the family, they can build their own and it depends on them if they will help me or not as long as I can see them already stable.❤❤
Thanks for commenting kuya. Same here, if I will have a children one day I will not also rely my future to them and I wouldn't force them to sustain me financially.
Let's break this cycle. Ang daming mga anak ang isinakripisyo ang sariling paranagrap apra i shoulder ang buong pamilya. It's so unfair. I am a breadwinner myself and napapagod na ako. Tas if unahin ko yung sarili ko, tinatawag akong selfish. I mean, wala ba akong karapatang unahin sarili ko?
I understand you Sequoia, I am the second and yung kuya ko yung breadwinner and wala na ding napupunta para sa sarili niya. Kaya nagsisipag ako kasi ako yung sasalo sa role niya sa family. Sad reality.
Maybe because of the financial status of the family that is why a child will be a bread winner. Sometimes a child itself contribute to be a breadwinner because they love to help and they want to give in return to their parents, some are forced to do that because their family rely on them. The normal way is that they should not be forced to do that but should be willing to help.
I agree with you Grecy but there are some whose mentality is to raise a child that will provide everything they need one day which is a very bad expectation. It looks like they want the child to pay them one day.
Absolutely, first born child always have to burden these responsibility some of them can't even complain to give up their own dream just to pursue want thei parents want them to be
That's exactly the truth. It feels like you owe your parents for giving birth on you and you have to sustain them for the rest of your life..
You owe them your life but never the responsibility
Exactly! Thanks for dropping by in my article. Actually my brother is a breadwinner and I will be the next to him one day too.
Sad reality. And kung sino mas nakaangat at responsible sya Yung kawawa Kasi sa kanya lahat hayss
Totoo yan Yen and iniisip ng lahat ng pilipino na kapag may anak sila dapat buhayin nito yung mga kapatid at buong pamilya.
True hays
By the way Yen, may anak ka na ba? Nacurious lang ako.
Oo haha. I have 3 years old son
This is not happening in the Filipino family, it is a norms hers in Nigeria. Every first born in the family is automatically burdened with the care of his family.
This is a sad reality we are living in. It's not bad to help our parents, but when the parent relies everything to the child then it should not be tolerated.
This is a typical lifestyle all over the world. When our parents become hold, especially families where the income level is low, the firstborn is usually depended upon. Using the social stratification table, one will know that family dependability is on the successful child or children and not just of the firstborn. However, we ought to pay a role of giving back to our parents when they grow old and their hands can't do what they could do to feed themselves.
No, it doesn't happen all around the world and not every parents owe their child to raise them back. Maybe in your country and in my country, this is a typical lifestyle. The thing here is that the parent should not rely their future to the child alone especially when they have lot of children and they want the first born to be the one to raise the siblings. This is very funny if it would be called as lifestyle.
Naahhh iwan ko ba bakit ganon. Buti na lang at di ganyan parents ko. Kasi kung ganyan, haruyyyy kawawa ako. Pero yung sa partner ko, ganyan kaya naiipit na partner ko. Lalo pa kapag di marunong mag appreciate nakoo. Kaya nga kami ng partner ko, sabi namin sa sarili namin di namin bibigyan ng problema anak namin. Kami ang may gusto ng anak, hindi yung anak ang may kagustuhan. Kawawa talaga mga anak na ginagawang investment or retirement ng mga magulabg eh. Lalo na pera pera na lang talaga usapan sa buhay.
Nakakalungkot isipin na parang nagiging normalize na kailangan magtrabaho ng anak para sa pamilya tas yung magulang kampante nalang sa buhay at iaasa nalang ang lahat porket may trabaho na yung anak, mas mahirap diyan kapag maraming mga kapatid na susuportahan. Literal na breadwinner talaga.
Ayyy totoo yan. Ako naman ok lang naman sana basta ba marunong mag appreciate kaso lang yung iba kasi hindi eh. Kumbaga nagbigay ka na lahat lahat pero kulang pa rin at sasabihan na walang utang na loob. Ayy iba talaga.
Nakakalungkot yan isipin. Actually yung kuya ko ay breadwinner halos siya na nagbibigay sa lahat, and bilang pangalawa I know I will be a breadwinner too kasi may tatlo pa akong bunsong kapatid.
Sa panganay talaga naiaasa lahat sis ano?? Kaya minsan walang free will mga panganay. Tapos yung iba kapag di makapagbigay ng isang beses, masama na. Haayy
Kaya nga po, bilib talaga ako sa lahat ng mga panganay dahil sila talaga yung mga responsable tas yung pinakabunso naman ang spoiled.
Siguro dahil natin sa kuktura oe nakalakhan natin. I mean nasa kultura kasi natin un pagiging familh oriented then tayo bilang anak, parang naging resposable na natin yun pagtanda ng magulang natin eh tayo na ang mag aalaga naman na sa kanila. At dapat naman talaga. Pero kapag umabot na sa point na lahat iaasa sa anak eh pati mga kapatid at minsn pa nga eh pati pamngkin, di na tama yun. Yun ang di tama.
Wala namang masama na tulungan yung magulang, napakasama nating anak kong di natin sila susuportahan. Ang mali talaga ay yung iaasa na magulang sa anak yung responsubilidad na dapat sa kanila at yung wala ng kalayaan para sa sarili yung anak.
Actually, medyo nakikita ko na ung ibang millenials hindi na ganito ang mindset. Feeling ko existing na lang ung ganitong toxicity sa mga parents natin na ages 45-50's ehh pero ung mga nasa 30's and below halos di na nila dala dala ung ganitong mindset.
Agree ako sayo Usagi kasi sa napapansin ko sa panahon ngayon tag dalawa at isa lang yung anak saka marami na din yung "woke" ngayon or yung mga mulat na sa katotohanan and thanks sa social media, nagkaroon na ng awareness about family building.
true, mga lolo at lola lang naman ung ibang toxic eh saka ung mga galing talaga sa squammy families mostl.
Agree ako diyan Usagi, grabe yung teenage pregnancy noon pero ngayon lumiliit nalang, malaking tulong ang social media sa page-educate about teenage pregnancy.
yess i agree. maski ako ay victim din ng teenage pregnancy but buti na lang taaga lesson learned..
Ang importante Usagi ay nag-aaral ka pa din at may side hustle.
Yesss ganoon naman dapat.
Swerte naman yung anak mo sayo Usagi kasi masipag ka, for me hard-working at palaban kang tao bes hahahah.
hahahah ganun talaga lalo na kapag single mum ka at turuan mo din anak mo maging independent
Hala single mom ka pala? Akala ko may partner ka diba kakagawa mo lang ng article about don sa Valentine's challenge
may partner ako be pero hindi sya ung father ng anak ko pero good thing eh tinuturing nmn nyang anak iyon.
I am glad that so many of you young filipinos are talking about this, so yes it needs to end.
Thanks. It is not good to rely to your child and to put all the burdens on their shoulders. We should wake up from this life.
Buti lang talaga di ganito sina Mudrabels ko. I mean, sila din kaso may. Gusto na wag ako mag work ee. Same with Mama. Kanya kanya na nga samin ee. Pero now na walang work si Mama ayon tulong tulong nalang kami. Buti nga at di sila yong susumbatan ka talaga kasi walng ganito ganyan
Yung iba kasi Ruffa sila na yung bumubuhay sa lahat ng magkakapatid and kailangan patapusin isa isa sa kolehiyo, parang ang bilis magpalaki ng mga magulang ng anak at iaasa sa panganay ang lahat lahat.
Oo nga marami sa mga magulang ganto ang pag iisip na ang anak nila ang sususporta sa kanila sa pagtanda at mag aahon sa hirap. Well kung sa unang tingin ok lang kasi magulang mo naman kaso medyo mahirap din na may burden sa bata na kailangan nyang mag trabaho at kumita ng malaki kasi sa kanya umaasa. Kaya maganda kung may sariling mga retirement plan din ang mga magulang natin para sure sila at di nila kailangan umasa sa mga anak nila in the future.
Tama po yan at sa totoong buhay, yung iba kailangan pang patapusin ang limang magkakapatid sa kolehiyo tas umaasa yung magulang na magagawa yan ng panganay lahat lahat. Napaka-unrealistic.
This is very common is most regions but it's very bad because the firstborn, especially the male is to start his family too. How can he do that when he keep feeding the family with all his earnings.
That's the sad reality. A firstborn child can't start a family yet if all the siblings haven't graduated in college yet. It's a great sacrifice.
Isa sa pinaka toxic nga mindset sa isa ka pamilya. Where ang tanan pressure and responsibilities ma butang sa isa ka member sa pamilya either maguwang or sa manghud. Tungod sad sa "Utang naloob" thingy. tsk.
Ang akong kuya kay siya ang gabuhi sa amoa and medyo naluoy ko but maningkamot ko and of course, ako sad ang mubuhi balang araw and dili na nako huna-hunaon nga unfair Jinifer.
you are very right, for no family a child should mean that on the contrary it should bring happiness and you should always try to make them happy
Thanks for reading my article! A child should not carry the responsibility of a parent and I hope this will come to end.
More comments