Death leaves a heartache no one can HEAL , Love leaves a memory no one can STEAL.

Hy guyz! Hope you all are doing well.

Sorry for being too late I was not able to write from the past two days coz its exam season and I was quite busy preparing for it, but again all in vain as I wasn't able to do well in my paper as usual(lol).Anyways let's come to the topic.

Today ,After my exam me and my friends were heading out of the Fatima Block(block in our uni) and suddenly I saw a stretcher there and it reminds me of my late grandmother. Whenever I go to hospital or see any thing related to it ,its just too much painful for me that's why I always avoid all this.

I was too much close to my grandmother and last year suddenly passed away and left all us . I feel too alone after her death because I used to share each and everything with her.

I still remember the last day of her life ie 6th Feb 2021 when she was lying on stretcher, holding my hand and was smiling .She was too brave and strong lady I have ever seen.Although she was quite weake and was ill on the last days of her life but still she always tries to get up and on that day(6 feb) in the hospital she was constantly saying me to pick her up from that stretcher , somehow I convinced her to take rest for while I said to her "Bijan you are too weak yoy can't walk" she smiled and replied "Don't underestimate me I am not that much old " we both laugh aloud.

There are some peoples that are very close to your heart , no matter how hard you try to move on you can't do it that much easily it's too painful and depressing.

Today I was just seeing her pictures and it was picture of that day when I and my Bijan planted yellow roses .she was in love with flowers and plants, After seeing that picture I wasn't able to control my self and just burst in tears .From my childhood I was just too close to her she raised me up her love for me was unconditional. Although my parents love me a lot but it's true that i am not as close to them as I was with my grandmother .After her death , I feel that i was left just too alone .I was in shock after her death instead i wasn't able to speak and the come back is soo difficult for me .

She often used to say me " Sumaiyya!After me you should have to take good care of yourself OK?" and I was like how can I live without you? and still I think how is it possible that I am alive? But life teaches you everything.

I used to share all my problems and worries with her and she used to solve everything in minutes for me.(whenever I think about our past memories I just can't breathe but I am recovering from it by using drops one of family doctor recommended me. No worries!)

After Bijan now I have to solve each and every problem by myself coz I am not able to share it with everyone except for some peoples .I feel her everywhere around me . Life has become to painful and depressing without her but you just have to live say You are okay and move on!

Anyways I still live with her memories as love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening everyone has to go but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate peoples who are bounded by love . It can't take away our memories .In the end life is stronger than death.Those we love don't go away they walk beside us every day, every moment.Unseen ,unheard but always near to us , still loved ,still missed and very dear. When we lose someone we love we must learn not to live without them but to live with the love they left behind.

My mother still says to me that every life has an end and it's bitter truth of life , losing someone close to your heart puts you in grief but life goes on .Get up and move on

But how can i move on every time i try to move one I can't i think i will never be able to bring my older version back .Now I am too much afraid of losing my loved ones ,I got attached with some peoples emotionally, mentally and I love them unconditionally. It's too much difficult for me to live without my friends, family ,cousins and every person around me who cares for me and whom I love.

In the journey of life ,it has lots of smiles and pains ,we have to live without our loved ones but you can always keep those people in your mind and make them immortal forever we just have to feel the love for people we love with heart deeply and purely. Isn't it?

I just pray to Allah that " Give my Bijan high ranks in jannah" and I hope she will be happy there I love her soo much !