The boundaries we set between myself and the external environment

I might ask you to think a little while reading this article. Think about yourself, think about your environment.

Consider your limits.

Intangible but well-known hidden lines are intertwined like a Circle.

When thinking, don't go too far, if your home is where you're reading this, look where you are. There are no foreigners.

When we go out with thousands of people, we can only have as many people as we know in our home. Let's get into another circle: Your bedroom is only yours, the border you set in the living room of the house is not the same as the border in your bedroom. Your living room has more flexible boundaries. Your bedroom is private.

So what exactly is the limit?

BOUNDARY! A concept that doesn't sound very good as a word, has a very broad meaning when we examine it terminologically, eg. Although geographical borders have the meanings of blocking the passage, preventing change, impeding, impeding, inaccessible, they are in principle indispensable for relationships and generally for people who manage to protect their borders; can be perceived as insincere people, However, opposing behaviors, "vague variable attitudes" of people can cause destructive results in relationships, As an individual, your boundaries are your essence that makes you different, they are unique to you, they define you, in short, they are subjective. Wishes are almost nonexistent. To be able to set limits is to “Release Our Nos and Yess”, Marriage is the comfort of life and not being able to set limits on relationships is a selfish problem of today.

Any delusion of responsibility and ownership in our lives is a question of boundaries. Just as homeowners draw physical property lines around their land, we need to set mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries in our lives that help us distinguish what is our responsibility and what is not. Not being able to set appropriate boundaries with the right people at the appropriate times can be extremely devastating. This is one of the most serious problems people face today. Many deeply committed people grapple with great confusion about when to set limits.

Skin; The most basic limit is your physical skin. The skin border keeps the good in and the bad out. Words; The most basic limiting word is no. No, it's a confrontational word. He affectionately told people, “No, this behavior is not appropriate. It is necessary to teach how to say "I can't take part in this". The word no is also important when setting limits against abuse. Geographic Distance; sometimes physically getting yourself out of a situation helps in maintaining boundaries. Often when there is abuse in a relationship, the way to impose your limits on the other person is creating space until they are ready to deal with the problem. Time; Taking a break from a person or project for a while can be a way to regain an aspect of your life that has come under your control, in terms of setting boundaries. Emotional Distance; emotional distance is a temporary boundary that gives your heart the space it needs to regain trust. Other people suffer so much to relate to people that many endure abuse because they fear their partner will abandon them and be left alone if they oppose their partner.

What Is Inside My Boundaries? Feelings; Emotions should neither be ignored nor subordinated to them. We must learn to “own” our emotions and be aware of them. Attitudes and Beliefs; Beliefs are anything you accept to be true. The challenge with attitudes is that we learn them in the first years of life. Behaviours; Parents often yell at their children, scold them instead of allowing them to face the natural consequences of their behavior. Whereas, parenting with love and boundaries, warmth and consequences produces confident children who have a sense of control over their own lives. Elections ; We must take responsibility for our choices. Values; What we value is what we love and care about. We often have to take responsibility for what we value. Limits; setting limits on others. We cannot do this. What we can do is set limits on staying with people who exhibit poor behavior. thoughts; We are the owners of our own thoughts. Of course, we should listen and weigh the opinions of others; but we should never make the mistake of "giving our own mind" to anyone. We must grow in knowledge and expand our minds. We must illuminate distorted thoughts. Desires; We must take an active role in seeking our desires. We must own our own desires and chase them to achieve our ambitions in life.

Love; We must take responsibility for and use this function of loving ourselves. Love that is hidden or unacceptable; both can kill us. Soft captions: Those who said “Yes” to the abuse; Not being able to say no to abuse shows itself in every field. Not only does this prevent us from rejecting the bad in our lives, it often keeps us from recognizing the bad. The mild-tempered take on many responsibilities and set few boundaries; Not that the elections were like this, but because they were afraid. Those Who Stay Away: Those who say “No” to good. Inability to seek help from others, inability to diagnose own needs. Controllers: Those who do not respect others' boundaries The first problem with individuals who cannot tolerate being told no, which is different from being unable to say no, is that they tend to put the responsibility for their lives on others. Controllers are of two types:
1. Offensive controllers. They usually don't even think that others may have limits.
2. Manipulatory controllers. They try to persuade people to step outside their borders. They trick others into carrying their burdens. They use guilt messages. Developing Boundaries; We need to learn about limitations starting from childhood. Boundary development is a continuous process; yet the most important stages coincide with our first years when our character is being formed.

Here are some suggestions to help you set healthy boundaries in your relationships with people:
• When setting your boundaries, determine why they are important. First, find out what you want from relationships. You can start to set your limits according to these desires.
• Examine existing and missing boundaries in your life. For example, you may have healthy boundaries with your romantic partner but not with your coworkers. Discovering them guides you.
• The first principle is to be clear about your boundaries, both with yourself and with other people.
• The most basic way to set boundaries is to be able to say “No” unequivocally. But setting boundaries by simply saying No is difficult for most people. Being able to say “No” is important for setting boundaries, because your response to questions, reproaches and psychological pressures that follow the “No” answer determines your boundaries.
• After you start drawing your boundaries, making long statements in the face of the reactions you get from people will take you by surprise. If you feel compelled to explain, think about why you feel the obligation. Everyone has the right to decide what they want to do or not. Do you not see this right in yourself? You can also start thinking about boundaries from this point.