Personal development

What I told myself last year, is to work on myself this new year. I came to realize that love at early stage is a distraction. As a lady, I want more of everything. I never want to settle for less.
One thing we all need as adults is true love, you don’t need to waste anyone’s time, pretending to love them, when what you just feel for them is lust. I think it’s high time, we all start working on ourselves, let’s try to be better people for ourselves.

I have heard of stories of young teenagers who date from young age and ended up marrying each other, but I have never seen people like that. It might not work for you. You may have to date like 3 guys before you finally see someone who would love you for who you are, but that time we busy looking for love, why not spend that time loving yourself and working towards your dream. Learn how to be independent, take risks and learn about life.
There is a time in every lady’s life, you just wanna be loved. Most times we don’t get that love in the family, and the moment we find comfort in a guy, we relax and get distracted. And anytime these guys start being uncomfortable, we start hating on ourselves, and crying. We are humans after all, you don’t expect the same treatment you give people back. Nobody will live up to your expectations. The only development you need, is your personal development. Always expect the worse from every situation.
As ladies, we want comfort, luxuries, we always want more in every relationship, we want the love we give back, but we don’t get these things, but get hurt.

Love is not for everybody. You don’t get to have everything in life. It’s either you work on yourself and be a better person for yourself, or you lose. I read on becoming Toke, a book written by the famous media personality called Toke Makinwa. Love cheated her, she spent her 20’s on a man, yet she lost him. Here she is, making her money, traveling everywhere in the world, and independent. You can have a man and still lost your dreams. Don’t get me wrong, you can have love and still be a successor, but then you can have one. My number one mentor is, NGOZI OKONJO- IWEALA, she is a Nigerian- American economist, and also a Director-General of the World Trade Organization. She is married and and also a successor. My number two mentor is CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE, who is a Nigerian writer but known all over the world as a Feminist Icon. She’s happily married and also a successor. My number three mentor is Robyn Rihanna, who is Barbadian singer, and a business woman. Her beauty line has helped her enter one of the most exclusive ranks: Billionaire. Rihanna is now worth $1.7 billion, Forbes estimates making her the wealthiest female musician in the world and second only to Oprah Winfrey as the richest female entertainer. Rihanna is single, and also a successor. In other word, you may not have a spouse but still achieve your dreams. It doesn’t mean you have to have a man before you can be successful .

Marriage is seen as a platform of success nowadays. Some think their lives would get better in marriage. Let’s focus on ourselves for now. Do not force relationship or vibes. Yes, we are prone to make mistakes, but when you make one, do not make it repeat itself again.
It’s like there is a magnet that works with we students whenever we are in love, we think our life depends on it, whereas it’s just a distraction, it’s just a stage we are going to pass through, but do not lose focus. Don’t throw away your goals because of love. That love could be part time, it might not necessarily mean you’ll get married to that person. Most times, it is not worth fighting for. When the time comes, the love will come naturally to you.
For how, let’s stay focused, let’s work on ourselves . Take people for who they are, yes, there will be a time you get to love someone, but enjoy it while it last and be focused. If it doesn’t work, you don’t have to see yourself as a failure or look for ways attempting suicide. I see girls who have been in relationship with guys for five years and above, yet they go heartbroken , but still pick themselves up, and rather focus more on their personal development. We all have that friend, who get lot of gifts from her boyfriend constantly, and there’s this sense of jealousy that comes from within, I’ve felt that way before, but what I know is, people are different. It could be her time, but you might not even be lucky to see a guy who would get you gift, but you can work and get yourself that same gift. That friend you envy, there’s something special you have, that she doesn’t have. Don’t let that get to you or keep you distracted. We can be independent as women, we can be successors too. I believe we women can make it just like men. There’s no gender-based in success.
See y’all at the top. Let’s not waste this year on infatuations. Let’s work on a better tomorrow. This lust is just for a short while. It’s just distractions. Love and be loved, but remain focused.