Friendships

I got my first experience of friendship in high school. My first best friend was Tade, we were in the same room in boarding school and she was always looking out for me. I remember when I was searching for my uniform and I was crying badly that I lost them, she went around each room asking everyone and later found it. I was happy someone cared for me outside my family. It was at that moment she became my best friend. I later found myself in clique of friends because we were really young and had nothing to beef about, we played good roles, we enjoyed every moment of it.

Now in our 20’s or 30’s we are kinda looking for great quality friendships the one that obviously can evolve. I have just one best friend now and few friends for different occasions and I’m not that clique type anymore like I was in high school. Friendships means something different as you are getting to know yourself.
People find it hard outgrowing friends, I personally would love to say I’ve been friends with someone for fifteen years but we evolve and keep meeting new people. The problem I have with old friends is that they seem to want you the way you’ve been in the past years and they be like oh! She’s changed. I want us to all believe change is constant and we all change. To be honest with ourselves we’ve had friends for a year who are way better to you than friends you’ve had for ten years. People who have known you for a while tend to struggle more with the the new versions of you, they find it harder to adjust to the new you.
Group friendships are good if it’s based on your growth and if it’s of good vibes not when y’all are faking the bond because you have somethings in common. I personally find it hard relating with large group of friends, it doesn’t work for me.
Having single friendships makes you feel left out at times, especially when your friend is making new connection and then you feel like you’re lost or jealous.

I talked about friendship breakups in my last article, it hits hard and can be worst than boyfriend trauma, there’s this loneliness that comes from it especially if you are someone like me who is not a clique type and your one friend is your everything , you share everything together leaving that one person can be really hard. You need to have friends that are constantly on your level of understanding.
I’ve been into toxic friendships and I stayed because I was scared to leave and scared to stay lonely. I’m not saying I’ve been the best of friends, I might have been toxic to some people but if you find yourself in toxic friendships I think you should leave because sooner or later you guys would separate.
Two important things in friendships are honor your boundaries, and don't be scared of being a villain. In friendships we need to sometimes prove to our friends that we care for them and perhaps they have misunderstood us.

Friendships are good, especially if they are true. They watch your back, helps you grow. A true friendship will always have your interest at heart. When others try to hurt you emotionally or physically, they do everything to make sure you stay safe. A true friend stand by you consistently both when you are present and when you are not.
Always try and make friends everywhere you go , it doesn’t have to do anything with your core friends. I’m literally learning how to relate with people because having just one friend can be strange at times.
The fascinating thing is that our experiences on friendships is different but we can’t deny that good friendship is worth it and always learn that there’s no age limit on good people. Your friends don’t have be your age group.
I wouldn’t recommend having one friend to be your everything. It gets exhausting for them and could lead to unhealthy attachment, possessiveness and entitlement. There’s way too much beauty and individuality out there to only experience one friendship at a time.