Fake love

So, I got an email notification on my cell phone which says, “Thank you, you made the last 16 months memorable. I hope you find the joy you deserve from somebody else, not me”. The mail wasn’t clear enough, I decided to put a call through. He picked at the third attempt. I asked faintly, “Are you breaking up with me?”, then he said “I’m sorry! You deserve better, Tee”.

I was indoors all through the week. I couldn’t believe I wasted 16 months with someone who who claimed he loved me, but only showed fake love towards me. He made me realize he’s been managing me for months, when he had someone else who he gave his love and attention to. How could I be used like that?, did he ever wanted to be with me?, did I actually made the 16 months memorable for him?. These were the questions ringing in my head. I could never imagine myself being dumped by some guy. I wept all night...

One of his friends reached out to me when he heard the news. He called to check on me, which I did appreciate. Before he ended the call, I asked him if his friend ever loved me?. He said, Tee, he never did. He thought he would, along the line. His intention was not to date you. He dated you because of the kindness you showed towards him. I was so angry at the moment. He dated me because he wanted to pay back the favor, really? How can someone be so inhumane. How can someone pretend to love you for a year and four months when he’s just dating you because you did him a favor.
I was told by a friend never to date him back then, but I felt there’s just so much quickness to think the worst of someone. So, I didn’t heed to the advice.
This guy pretended to love me even with my flaws, he acted like he was comfortable with my clinginess. He never for once complained about me. He laughed to my jokes, always there to hear me rant. This same person told his friends he’s been managing me for months. How can someone pretend that much? How can you act like you’re fine with someone's personality when you’re not?... We all need to start expressing ourselves. You don’t need to show fake love to anyone. If you’re not comfortable with people, tell them! And if they don’t change, leave! You don’t have to tell anyone you’ve been managing them, when you could have just leave when it was still fresh.

After few weeks, I became resilient with the help of my beautiful friends and sisters. Every parent should infuse a little sense of resilience, sense of strength, not apologizing for being who we are. I believe so many girls, including myself have been raised to think that if one person doesn’t like you that’s the end of the world. I obviously think it’s a terrible thing to teach girls. It is important for girls to think of themselves as subject. You’re not just an object, that someone can say oh! I like you, I don’t like you, change your behavior for me. It’s important for us to know what we want.

One afternoon, I told myself, I would rather use my energy on things that make more sense to me. I came back on my feet and stopped crying over a guy who lost me. Yeah, fake love is everywhere, but we all need to be careful out there. Watch who you say yes to as a lady. It’s normal to want more out of everything, but watch the red flags when you see them. Don’t say he’s gonna change and keep staying. The break will be hard.
I learnt my lesson. I’m glad we crossed path because I didn’t just date him, I learnt from him.
Self-love is very important. Put yourself first, and love yourself more than anybody else. Life is all about lessons. We keep learning everyday. No matter how bad I’ve been treated, I still have a heart of gold and endless love to give to everyone.
No matter what you’ve gone through, or you going through, please do not hate anyone. Let’s wish everyone well. Sometimes, it’s needless trying to correct certain errors and it’s fine to make some bad choices. We are not perfect ourselves. We are humans after all.