Don’t Stop Being You

I once had a close friend who shared same birthday with me, we are of same age too. We also live in the same hostel, but I got there before him. After a month I got to the hostel, he took a room in my hostel. We got closer. I’m business-wise, and I’m not egocentric, I care about my friends just like I care about myself. Which is an attribute I got from my mom. I was getting to know my new friend, to know the kind of person he truly is. I knew him in 2019, but the friendship became strong in 2020. 

It got to a point I discovered I didn’t like his circle of friends. He moved around with smokers. I called him one evening to ask why he smoke? I made him understand I know he’s been doing it before we met, I did told him the side effects of weed and the damage it could cause to his health. After a while, he came up with another ill behavior. He stole from me.

In the whole hostel, he was the only one who smokes. His other neighbors and I decided to plead with him to stop, but he just didn’t heed to our plea. He thought we didn’t understand what was going on in his life. They left him and started showing fake love toward him. He made a small shed where he smokes, and have this caliber of friends who smoke along with him. On a particular night, he was caught by the police on his way to the hostel. He needed to be bailed so he called his other friends, the ones they smoke together, and they were able to raise $12 for him. The next day he came to me that he was owing $12 and I gave it to him, only for his friends who bailed him to start harassing him that he borrowed $12 from them. I was embarrassed, because I felt what could he have used the money I gave to him to do...I tried talking to him. I told him to count himself lucky for getting out of cell on bail. I told him it could be a second chance for him, and I advised him not to go back to smoking. He did stop for a while. I introduced him to the business I was doing as at the time. We started so well, until he carelessly made my lose some amount of money. 

Toward December ending 2020, some rich guys in the hostel were lodging for the Christmas celebration. He decided to join them too. I was shocked that someone who’s yet to make ends meet want to start spending extravagantly when you’ve got bills? I expected him to stay on a low since he just started making some cool cash for himself. I did lodge too, but it wasn’t with my money as I was sponsored by my elder brother. I reminded him constantly to know what he was doing with the money we’ve made so far. 

When we got back from holiday, he started showing off, getting expensive clothes and shoes with little savings. People believed he had made lot of money. They introduced him to gambling and made sure all the money he had he put it down. I knew how much I encouraged him to make money and I was so bitter he toyed with it that way.  After some time he came to me crying because he was broke and went back to smoking. I decided to support him because I couldn’t watch him go astray. I didn’t know he was using the money he got to get weed. I asked him one day, if he has been saving? He made me believe he was giving his mom, and paying bills at home. 

Around late 2021, his phone got stoten, and the culprit ran off. He was angry about the phone. I advised him to let go and get another phone. I spoke to his other friends that we should contribute and get him another one (as it was the code of brotherhood). They did contribute $27 out of $95 which I was happy about. I added the remaining change and got him a better phone. He was happy and grateful. I did all these out of my widows mite. On a Sunday morning, we had a misunderstanding. We just had two new occupants and they were girls. My friend and I attend same church. We were supposed to be on same motorcycle together, but I went over to meet them that I will be riding the girls to church with my motorcycle, I then told him and the other guys to take a commercial motorcycle. He got so angry at me, and snapped at me, saying I like girls a lot and I was too full of myself. We exchanged words, because I was really angry he was getting entitled to my motorcycle. The quarrel lasted for a while, but we eventually made up. He was so selfish and entitled. It was then I realize he wasn’t the kind of friend I wanted in my life. I did my best to encourage him to live a good life. I’m human, I got flaws too, but I’m not an Angel to condone his bad behavior since he wasn’t willing to change. We are good friends till date, but I’m out of his business.

My advice for everyone is, Learn to appreciate everyone who has impacted your life in one way or the other. Never pay good with bad. There are people out there who want the best for you, nothing but the best. Don’t stop being you, because you are definitely going to meet people who will take your good deed for granted. Support your Neighbors, friends, strangers, if you are in the position to. Don’t stop being you, because you are going to meet a lot of people who will tempt you to stop being the good person you are. Your reward is with God. Don’t expect the Nigga you helped to pay back the good deed.