Why is it so difficult for intellectuals to make friends easily?

Intellectuals may feel lonely, unable to integrate into societies and with people who are not like them and cannot make friends easily

Culture is not related to education, so how many educated people do not have any culture? How many educated and educated people have not had their share of education? That is why it is difficult for these educated people to integrate into society, it is difficult for them to form friendships with people who are not educated and aware of what is going on around them, so they suffer from a bit of loneliness, and perhaps this unity for them is much better than forming a friendship with someone who does not fit their ideas.

Difficulty making friends with educated people

Intellectuals are a category of people who have chosen awareness and knowledge of their will away from school and university studies, so what they learned in educational institutions is one thing, and the culture they acquired by themselves is another thing, they are civilized and upscale personalities, and the idea here is not just that they are educated people, how much of a person is educated but does not possess What culture! Rather, the idea is that they are people with wise minds and hearts, people who are not tempted by pettiness and do not control them, so these people have difficulty forming friendships with people who are empty heart and mind.

Friendship is a relationship that must be based on solid foundations and rules in order to succeed, the most important of which is that there is an intellectual compatibility between the two friends. The differences in the level of ideas - and not in the ideas themselves - make it difficult for the friendship to continue. Reasons to keep the friendship going.

Educated people have high aspirations and pursue their dreams, and they want to achieve valuable things in life, and therefore their ideas do not correspond to any superficial person without ambition in life except to eat, go out and sleep, or someone who does not like to do much in his life, contented with his condition, He always wants to be in the comfort zone or have reckless and unthinkable experiences, and this is the opposite of educated people who want thoughtful and calculated change.

The difficult thing that makes the friendship between the educated and the uneducated fail is the feeling of the gap, the gap that intellectuals feel with these people, superficial speech that always lacks seriousness and depth, so they do not find themselves with them, and many experts say that people are attracted to form friendships with people Equal with them, and if the educated feels the depth of the gap between himself and the other, how will he form friendship with him?

Why is it difficult for others to make friends with educated people?

On the other hand, the friendship relationship between the educated and others fails in both respects, for it is not only the educated who feels the depth of the gap between himself and the other, but the other also feels that in a boring friendship, he feels that the educated is deep beyond the required limit. Many details, and the matter does not require that, the whole life in his view does not require that, he just wants to live, spends his day and goes out with his friends, eats and drinks, goes to work and returns, does not want anything else, does not want to talk about sensitive and important topics, he does not want to He changes the world, not hearing how others change the world, and therefore finds in his friendship with intellectuals a burden and a burden that he cannot bear.

Is there an ideal number of friends?

Some people may think that they do not have many friends, and this may frustrate them, especially the educated people who feel their social powerlessness in forming many relationships, but there is no ideal number of friends that a person should have, maybe someone has 100 friends and another has Only two or three friends, if you look at the numbers from afar, you will think that the first is surrounded by a lot of friends, and that the second may be a bit lonely, but if you look closely, you may discover that the person who has 100 friends suffers from loneliness more because most of them are unfriendly friends. Real, friendship is not measured by the number of friends, but by the truth and essence of a friend. Does he stand next to you in times of hardship, does he agree with you and agree with him, does he understand you and understand him, does he put you first and foremost?

Many people already have a lot of friends, but their whole relationship is in the framework of superficial interaction, and at the first real circumstance you will find that they have disappeared, otherwise loyal vinegar is not impossible, so you do not count your friendships by their number but in their essence and truth, and then you may discover that a friend or two can To spare you thousands of counterfeiters.

How can intellectuals make friends?

If you have difficulty making friends because of the different goals, tendencies, and ideas of people around you, then perhaps you should try some things that help in making good friends who are educated and aware of the world and want to make a difference and real change:

volunteering

I made my best friends ever through volunteering, volunteering means that you will find people who are educated and aware of the importance of what they offer to society, they want to make a change, they want to be influential, they have a desire to help others, and if you are educated and conscious then you definitely know the importance of volunteering and its role. In these places, you will find people who have common interests with you, they will not talk to you in trifles and will not be superficial, but this does not mean that they are not fun, we have been volunteering and helping others, and at the same time we have fun and go out and play, but we had goals and plans in life, we were not We live like this without a goal.

Learn a hobby or something you like

You can find people who share the same kind of hobbies or things that you like, these people will not be superficial to you, they will have a goal to pursue, whether learning a new language or learning a hobby and so on, in these places you can be friends with people who are a bit like you, I remember I got to know two close friends by attending English language courses, they had certain goals of learning the language just as I had goals, and this made our life meaningful and not random.

Subscribe to reading groups

There are reading groups that I participated in a while ago, which included a group of dozens of intellectuals interested in some field, of course I did not make friends with all of them, but I was able to make friends with people who are suitable for me among them, people with whom I shared interests and in the quality of what we like to read, We would gather every once in a while and someone of us would recount what he had learned from reading the last thing he had read, and in fact the people with whom I had made friends - and it continues to date - were among the people closest to my mind and heart.

I think the real secret to the continuation of friendships is that you find real people, people who are not false or liars, people who do not pretend, you will not find these people in superficial groups, but you will always find them in groups that want to make a difference and fundamental change, people who read, hear, share and produce, You can find them in one way or another, for a dhimil certainly attracts his likeness, and perhaps one day, with a little pursuit, you can make the friendships you really deserve.