Conflict and arguments are a normal and healthy thing in any marriage, as long as it does not turn into a conflict of the bad and harmful kind
Every marriage goes through many differences and conflicts, but many of these conflicts can turn into a bad kind that is difficult to deal with, and both men and women must try to prevent their regular struggles to take this dangerous path, especially those conflicts that can take another course and not result from them. Negative results, and here we must know how the wife can avoid transforming her conflicts with her husband into the bad kind?
Do marital conflicts threaten marriage?
The answer will surprise you when I tell you no, marital conflicts and arguments with the husband do not threaten marriage, on the contrary, the absence of conflicts and quarrels can be the problem, as clinical psychologists say that spouses who do not quarrel at all are the most vulnerable to separation and divorce. Because this means that one or both spouses do not care and do not really care about this marriage, and that he does not invest in him his feelings and his time.
On the other hand, it is not possible in any way to avoid quarrels, no matter how different you and your husband are or agree in your outlook on life, your thinking and your inclinations, so you will find that between every time and another a quarrel or argument arises between you, but the important thing here is how you can avoid it to go Quarrel for the wrong road or a dangerous turn?
Ways to avoid bad marital conflicts
Arguing with your husband, as we said, is normal and does not cause concern, but you must do some things so that the conflict does not take a bad turn and lead to dangerous results:
1. Do not stick to savings
Do you know what saving is, it will come to your mind to save money, which is collecting some money over a certain period of time, and the meaning here is similar to saving money but on feelings, do not save your feelings and do not collect them together so that they do not aggravate, feelings of sadness and anger from the husband when he takes action Something that frustrates or annoys you should not be ignored at all, ignoring these feelings will make you store them and save them inside you, and take them out at the wrong time on another trivial problem that does not call for this reaction, and a small conflict or quarrel due to saving feelings can turn into a big crisis in which you say words you regret On it later.
2. Express your feelings, not your anger
When a verbal altercation or conflict occurs between you and your husband, many wives begin to express anger first, while there is an important pre-emptive step that they must express first, which is expressing feelings. Do not start by expressing your anger such as shouting and saying: You did this and have I told you not to do it and every time you forget ..., this is an expression of anger that can make the conflict take a bad path, while it is healthy to express your feelings first in a calm tone and say: I feel that you are such-and-such, this method by (90) percent will make The conflict does not start from the ground up.
3. There should be a ceiling and limits
Every man hates certain things and feels that if they happen they are transgressing his right, so you must understand your husband, and there is absolutely no objection to sitting and talking together about the limits that each of you must follow during quarrels, here the husband can explain to you that, for example He does not like screaming at him, he does not like to have a quarrel about a certain matter and then you begin to list all the history of previous quarrels, he does not prefer quarrels in the morning before going to work and other things, all these limits will put your trees under control.
4. Stop for a while
I know that this matter is very difficult for women, but it is very necessary, especially if you feel that the argument will take a bad turn or start to take action, as you must stop arguing for a period of time "10 minutes for example", because if this does not happen You will say something that you will regret later, so pausing for a few minutes will make you calmer, and you will find that the boil that was inside you, which was after it, you could say some hurtful words to the husband, it has disappeared, and then you can return to the argument in a quieter way, or you discover that there is no need to complete this quarrel and it will end Command.
5. Going to sleep without solving the problem
In fact, marriage counselors say: It is okay to go to sleep angry with your husband, and then the problem is solved in the morning after he calms down, but I do not see this, it may be different between you and me, but I am one of the people who did not go to sleep even once while they were angry From their husbands, the talk had to be done and the problem solved, because I know that if it was not resolved I would have insomnia throughout the night, so you can try what the marriage counselors say, if it does not work out for you and gets worse then you are like me, and therefore you should not go to sleep angry Start.
6. The hugs
This method is one of the most helpful ways for me to avoid any bad kind of quarrels or arguments. Feelings can do wonders. Don't be too tough and cruel. During arguments - especially if he is going to take a bad turn - you can hug your husband, or hold his hand. This will make him (90) percent calm down and start the discussion in a rational way without feelings of anger. Experts say that the hug should be at least 30 seconds, and they assure that this method can quell any sharp and bad discussion.
7. The husband is not an enemy
What makes the quarrel take a bad turn is that the wife can at one time feel that her husband is an enemy, and that she must win one way or another, and that the war is a winning team and a losing team, and these are all negative feelings that will never lead to a positive quarrel, so you must remember At the time of the argument that your husband is not your enemy, he is your partner, and he is with you on the same team, and this house is what unites you both, do not start to take an offensive or defensive position immediately, I know that men can have difficult habits for us, especially when we are exhausted All day long at home, such as throwing clothes here and there, or making some mess in the living room, but you must remember that this person you chose to live with, and accept him with all his faults and advantages, and also remember that you have defects and advantages, so each of you must accept the other Talk about changing bad habits in a rational way without hurting feelings.
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