Even if they don't want to, everyone can be emotionally abusive towards others. True manipulators, on the other hand, carry out each action intentionally and on a regular basis. Manipulation is when someone manipulates another person's feelings, actions, or thought processes to fulfill a personal need. This can destabilize relationships and make victims feel helpless, offended, and befuddled.
Example of emotional manipulation
1. Guilt tripping
“I never expected you to do this,” says the narrator. “You want ME to pay for this meal?” “I've always trusted you,” Guilt trips are used by emotional manipulators to voice their emotions in a passively aggressive manner. They do it to prevent direct confrontation, which can be awkward and unpleasant at times. They will try to make you feel bad if your acts don't match their objectives. You may be at a loss for words in response, overthinking their comments and ultimately blaming yourself for everything.
2. Taking advantage of insecurities
Have you ever seen a beauty ad that shows a model with flawless skin and phrases like "eternal youth" or "smooth as butter" underneath the image? While today's ads encourage inclusivity and an appreciation of faults, it's not unusual for businesses to use people's insecurities to promote their goods. Interpersonal partnerships are no different. Couples may criticize each other's body image, appearance, or behaviors in the hopes that the other will change.
3. Always changing the criteria
This happens when an individual is never fully satisfied. They change their criteria for what they want from another person on a daily basis. Your mate, for example, may be unhappy with your actions and asks you to be more considerate towards others. Even after you realize your errors and make attempts to correct them, your friend is always uncomfortable with the way you talk and demands that you change it as well. In essence, you will never be able to fulfill their demands. In this situation, try not to get discouraged because a) you're awesome for making the effort to keep this friendship going, and b) true friendship is unconditional anyway!
4. Twisting reality
You may have exaggerated or stressed some details over others while speaking with someone else, and this is perfectly natural. Emotional manipulators can fully alter facts in order to perplex you, gain sympathy, or accomplish other objectives. They always do so in order to appear insecure. For example, they could rant about how their coworkers "mistreated" them when everything that happened was a simple misunderstanding. Try to notice their body language and tone as they recite these "truth," even though it's difficult to tell when they're lying.
5. Diminishing your issues
Everyone's life experiences are unique, as are the challenges they face. When someone wants to dismiss your feelings by saying stuff like "you think that's a problem?" Take note of their thoughts when they say things like, "Well, how about my time with this..." or "Be thankful for your problems; they're nothing compared to mine." They could be manipulating your emotions by making you feel bad for talking about your "insignificant" problems when, in fact, everyone's experience should be valued.
6. Gaslighting
This is a type of emotional manipulation in which someone attempts to persuade another person to question their own view of reality. This person can cause the victim to doubt whether or not their memories are right, or even whether their train of thinking is correct. When you're telling an emotional story about how your beloved pet died, for example, an acquaintance may intervene and remind you that the incident was minor and that you shouldn't be so upset. The reality is that only you know what you're going through; others might try, but they'll never know how you really feel.
7. Over complimenting
Some people, on the other hand, would attempt to sugarcoat everything they say. Sweet talkers will try to sway you by lavishing praise and compliments on everything you do, say, or think. You might feel flattered at first, and it's good to bask in those dopamine rushes. However, you should be careful if this individual lavishes too much praise on you. In certain ways, you may be lowering your self-defense and blindly trusting this individual who may later attempt to emotionally exploit you.
Conclusion
Manipulators may use complicated techniques to elicit complex emotions. You can sense that something is wrong, but you second-guess yourself and conclude that you are simply overthinking things. However, after reading these examples, you should have a greater understanding of certain people's motives and be able to avoid falling into their emotional traps. Of course, not everyone intends to manipulate the emotions, and many people can do these things unintentionally. It's a question of how much they do it and whether or not they do it on purpose.
We can be doing a bit of it especially in desperation. But, for some people who have been doing a lot of these ways habitually is just bad.
Btw, good article, my first to encounter gaslighting, so that's the right term for that. And, welcome to read.cash!