Hi everyone,
It took me a while to start writing this. I’ve got a long sordid story to tell you. Perhaps daily entries will help. I recently went through a divorce and it was chaotic. I got divorced from someone I had been with for over seven years of my life and who was and to some extent still is my happiness..
I’m not going to run you guys through the process of the heartbreak and emotional pain I went through and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. She most likely had to deal with a lot as well. But I’m attempting to start from zero again. There is no purpose to this but to vent what I’ve been feeling, to let my thoughts out.
I recently during my divorce spent three months technically on the road in Riyadh, with nowhere to sleep, for the most part, wondering where my next meal would come from, spending my days in isolation. I couldn’t work due to the status of my work permit and had to bank on the kindness of my friends.
The lack of a family hits you hard in such circumstances, you don’t see purpose anymore. On several occasions, I contemplated just ending it all. I stopped simply because I knew how they treat ex-pats and their deaths. Ultimately it would’ve caused more problems for her and her family. So I waited, waited until I could come back to my country. Now that I’m here, I no longer see any purpose or reason to do anything. I lay here in an empty room just lost in my thoughts. I sometimes talk to myself, trying to find a purpose.
Perhaps ill eventually, find something to hold on to. For now, it’s my loneliness and me.. Its empty, it’s dark.. But at least it is mine… maybe, I am forsaken, for I have sinned…
Till the next entry..
Very good