Starting over..

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Avatar for Sincosis
3 years ago
Topics: Life

Hi everyone,

It took me a while to start writing this. I’ve got a long sordid story to tell you. Perhaps daily entries will help. I recently went through a divorce and it was chaotic. I got divorced from someone I had been with for over seven years of my life and who was and to some extent still is my happiness..

I’m not going to run you guys through the process of the heartbreak and emotional pain I went through and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. She most likely had to deal with a lot as well. But I’m attempting to start from zero again. There is no purpose to this but to vent what I’ve been feeling, to let my thoughts out.

I recently during my divorce spent three months technically on the road in Riyadh, with nowhere to sleep, for the most part, wondering where my next meal would come from, spending my days in isolation. I couldn’t work due to the status of my work permit and had to bank on the kindness of my friends.

The lack of a family hits you hard in such circumstances, you don’t see purpose anymore. On several occasions, I contemplated just ending it all. I stopped simply because I knew how they treat ex-pats and their deaths. Ultimately it would’ve caused more problems for her and her family. So I waited, waited until I could come back to my country. Now that I’m here, I no longer see any purpose or reason to do anything. I lay here in an empty room just lost in my thoughts. I sometimes talk to myself, trying to find a purpose.

Perhaps ill eventually, find something to hold on to. For now, it’s my loneliness and me.. Its empty, it’s dark.. But at least it is mine… maybe, I am forsaken, for I have sinned…

 

Till the next entry..

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Comments

Very good

$ 0.00
3 years ago

salam brother. not sure if you will see this but please dm me on reddit. I've replied to one of your reddit comments, for some reason it wont show up. I'm keeping you in my duas and a day does not pass where I don't think about you. Please dm on reddit, I would appreciate it so much. Ill send my user once you reply here. that ok? I really want to talk .

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I must say that no one can really fathom your pain that yourself, but know that there is always life and light at the end of that empty, dark, lonely tunnel. Stay strong and keep the faith.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Thank you. I needed to read that.. I'm trying..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I know exactly how bad it is. I just send you some positive thoughts and good vibes, everything seems negative now but I'm sure you'll find the strength to get up stronger than ever. Hugs.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Thank you ♥

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Güzelmiş

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I know exactly how you are feeling. I divorced after 7 years from the one I loved. I was lonely too. You will be ok. I know it is hard. Give yourself time to heal and you will see time will heal everything. Of course you cannot empty it from your memory, but it's ok. Just for motivation. I have a family now and I am happy.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Thank you. Like you said.. Its difficult. Hopefully life will change..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

It will. There is always a change. Nothing remains the same forever.

$ 0.00
3 years ago