A week of Love turns out my Forever

• Hello everyone!!! Hope you’re good. I just want to share my forever. Well, if you believe in it just bear with me. Is there really a forever? Do you believe in forever? Many says, there's no forever and I can't argue with that because we have different perceptions in life. But in my case, I do believe in forever as cliche as it sound I do have my forever now.

Before my forever came, (yes he came and I did not find him) I encountered hardships, heartaches, hurdles and I was once a heartbreaker. Yeah you read it right, heartbreaker in the sense that I was the one who broke their hearts. Imagine a girl who is a heartbreaker is not common I guess because from what we've read or hear usually boys did that. I'm a not saying I'm a player because I'm not. I am not the type of girl who is perfect in terms of body measurements in short I'm not that sexy and I'm not so beautiful like any lady has. I am a shy type of girl and I can say to myself that I'm beautiful because I'm unique and I am created by God's image.

I entered into a relationship when I was in high school. But it did not last long maybe if I'm not wrong it took only months because I ghosted the guy. I didn't like being in a relationship at that time because I don't want my father to know about it because he was very strict. That's why I ghosted that guy without explanation and maybe I'm too young to enter in that thing. After I graduated high school I studied college but that is 1 semester only because of financial problems and I understand my family because we are a big family imagine I have 11 siblings: 2 brothers and 10 sisters including me. What I did is I focused myself in church activities I was active in the church actually I was once the leader of the youth in my time. When there was fellowship I was there and that was the time I met my forever. He is so kind to me he always checked me if I'm okay we even got closer but we were just friend at that time . When I was given the opportunity to fly to another cities which is the capital of the Philippines (Manila) to work and I grabbed it I did not hesitate because I want to help my parents. I got busy in my work and I lost contact with him( my forever). Until I entertained suitors, textmates actually because facebook, twiitter, and so on was not published at that time I remember it was friendster source of social media at that time. I dated two guys but one at a time and eventually I got bored and we broke up. Until one day, we got contact with my ex in high school, we even met and dated again, we continued our unfinished business there. As time goes by I fall in love with him because when I'm with him I am happy and I am in myself. We even got plan for our future. I thought at that time that he is the one but problems arouse and he changed I felt like I was suffocated I could not breath when I'm with him, I always monitored by him wherever I go, whatever I do, and I don't like that, that' s why I decided to broke up with him even if it's hurt. At first he didn't want to I said to him that I needed space and he agreed and he said that he will be waiting for me. I just did that because I doubted his feelings for me I felt like he cheated on me, you know women's instinct because way back high school days he was a player. He is more experienced than me. I admit I miss him terribly but I practice myself to be on my own. And I told myself I should focus first on my own, we did not lose communication he still texting me but as a friend just checking if I'm okay. And days passed I discovered that he had a new fling, see women’s instinct. I was deeply hurt at that time I thought that that he will wait for me and understand me.

I focused myself at work until such time I received a call from an unknown caller and that was my (forever). I was glad he contacted me because I just miss him and I discovered that he got my number from my sister. He always called at night when I went home from work and I'm really okay with that because when we talked he always include Jesus in our conversation he always reminded me to always asked God guidance and thank Him for everything. I felt at ease when we talked and I felt like I got closer to God. Well, He is a God-fearing man because in everything he do he always acknowledge God. Until, he confess my feelings for me that he is in love with me way back when I was in the province. He is very persistent, he courted me even if we were long distance he even sent me cards on my birthdays and love month through LBC. (at that time there's no facebook yet). So, I decided to answer him and I gave him my yes. A week had pass and I felt guilty because I realized that I did not move on with my ex. he is still in my heart. I told my( forever) the truth and I broke up with him it just like I was just using him as (panakip butas) but even if I did that to him he did not cut ties on me he still called and texted me. He got closer to my family in the province, he always visit my family whenever he has time. That little thing he did amazed me and I could tell that he truly love me.

How and when can you tell that he is the One?

When I decided to go home to my province for a vacation I met him again my (forever). He again courted me, he did not give up even if I always rejected him. He got closer to my family because he always visited me in our house and brought some food, you know he courted me in a traditional way. And that was very effective that’s why I gave him my yes again. I decided to end his journey in courting me because I’ve seen his efforts and why not try him there’s no harm in trying. Months passed and I started to develop feelings for him a little. My feelings for my ex was slowly fading. My feelings for my ex was not totally gone but how can I continue my feelings with my ex when he is gone, our communication was lost and somehow he lost me. That’s why I tried to focus on the present and let go of the past. Months of being together we decided to get married because at that time I got pregnant. But, four days before my marriage I got surprised, who wouldn’t be surprised if your ex is visiting you saying to take me back but he’s too late. I already purchased my heart to the one who truly love me for who I am, to the one who cherished me and surely will not hurt me. I felt secured being with him and I was 100% sure that he is the one. And that’s my clue, that I could tell that he is the one for me, in fact my (forever) asked God for me to be his wife. He is always prayed for that even when we were apart. And we got married after christmas with a bonus that is my little angel. We are now a decade of togetherness and we are grateful for our God who always strengthens us. I could tell that he is my forever because I am his forever and together we promised to God that we will love each other faithfully.

Closing Thoughts

Sometimes, letting go is the best choice, no matter how strong you are as couple, you have to grow separately, you have to grow individually. It will be painful but it will be worth it. Try to prioritize yourself, your peace, your happiness, choose yourself because if you’re meant to be together you’ll find a way back to each other. Loving each other just isn’t enough. You have to find yourself first and be the best version of it. And that is not selfishness but self empowerment. Lastly, delight yourself to the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Thank you for reading !!!