Missing my mighty Tubby (Must-know before deciding to own a dog)

They said crying over a dog is insanity. Treating them as a family is craziness. Spending money for the needs of dogs is totally absurd.

That its okay that the dog has the disease than humans. They said dogs are just dogs.

I heared these phrases several times and it breaks my heart to see how much humans can be monsters unknowingly. Some may never show the same sympathy and love for other creatures as dogs. For them they are simply just dogs who needs to meet their expectations in guarding their house.

This night however, I would like to turture myself more from reminiscing my first dog named "Tubby". I will just narrate because I don't have pictures of his behavior and physical developments.

I miss tubbys long jump.

She's like a kanggaro, she stands up longer than Lazy and Silly. She aims for the food and sometimes just like to climb up the chair. However, most of the time she move backwards to get the right balance and momentum to jump on a higher ground. However, she will just fall because she's to short for her goal landing area hahah. Maybe because she's too small for her jump, her body also is as cute as a tub, chubby and have shorter legs. Nothing else but a cutie little puppy named tubby.

I miss her being a breakdancer or a gymnast.

With her short legs, we can't help but be amazed of how she shows off her flexibility when she eats. Imagine a little puppy eating with most of her body weight was on her two front legs(which I call it her "hands") and she splits her rare legs(which I call "feet") to get more food. Sometimes she manages to lift both her feet when she's too busy eating and we got so amused.

I miss tubby's kisses.

She surprises us with her kiss when she had chances. I had been showered with her kisses before when I tickle her tummy she will face me then give me lots of kisses.

I miss tubbys voice.

She barked like she's the biggest among the three of them. She barked with power and all her might like she's big enough to scare other people which makes me giggles more because she's the cutest.

Tubbys cry also, I miss tubbys different cries. Like she's making her small sound for me to pity her or for me to carry her inside the living room. Cry like she's so annoyed and tired scratching her body because of fleas or other skin problems( I never know how to help them before). I pity her when she woke up in the middle of the night just to scratch her body(i knew I had to help her more but its too late now)😭 I miss tubbys silent cry when she's cold, I once showered her. She's so brave, she didn't even cry the whole time unlike the two. But after taking a bath she shivered and I got scared, more than 30 mins of drying her and hugging her just to feel her heartrate normalize and stop her chilling.

(I'm so sorry Tubtub. If only mommy knew it wasn't necessary at that time or it would cause you trouble, I shouldn't have done it.)

I miss her doing efforts to touch me and be with me.

She can sleep very deeply with just putting her head on my foot feeling my skin. Sometimes when I'm in a hammock, she enters her head into one of the holes then manages to climb up to my stomach or lap or knees just to sleep. She loves sleeping with her head hanging down. She loves sliding her body down. Her favorite sleep position was superman pose, but she can sleep lying her back on the floor, she can sleep curled up, she can sleep sidewards with her feet straight and relaxed.

Mistake I've made in adapting a puppy

• Taking a bath to soon -I never knew they have to reach certain age for me to start bathing them.

• Food*-not giving them enough nutrients that they need and giving them unnecessary. I gave them shrimp paste, sometimes I put fishbones and chicken bones in their meal. Sometimes I can't help but give them chilled fruit salad or other cold desserts.

• Not giving them proper cure to aid skin problems- not knowing what the source of the problem was, made me tried different things to help them. I just knew they have redness and are lossing hairs.

• Being impatient sometimes-sometimes I shouted at them just to be quiet and sleep. I want them to stick to the routine and sleep throughout the night.

• Not visiting a vet*

  *due to poverty, I tried my best to help them with what we only have because budget is super tight that vet consultation was just a dream.

Realization in this whole pet-parenting journey

In the span of eight months, I already lost my three dogs. One adult and two puppies.

Tubby was accidentally stepped on her stomach by my aunt while I was cooking and tubby was sleeping soundly on the floor. She lasted three days and her last night with me was the sweetest she could ever been. I cried a lot because it was supposedly a happy new year but I can only feel the pain of losing and being rebuked for crying over a pet.

Puppy Lazy didn't eat or drink anything for one week. She died last April 18, 2022(a day before she turned 5 months old) because of parvo virus with early signs of distemper. Her last day with me will forever be remembered. Her last wagging of tail, her bark, her scent, her eyes, everything about her just have so much space in my heart.

Blacky was the adult one I got but she got bitten by other stray dogs through fight and she also lasted more than a week before rabies totally got into her brain. It's hard for me to hear her whining because of the pain, her legs that got bitten started twitching which made her drag her feet and develop more and more wounds. Sometimes I carry her for her to pee.

It made me realize that maybe God is showing me that I am not yet ready to be a mom. That love is never enough, we need money to live and give. These experiences broke my heart, shattered into pieces, worst sadness than just breaking up in a relationship. Having a pet dog was not included in my goal this year. It just happened that some people gave them, mom accepted them, unfortunately no one committed in caring them except me and my sister.

At first, I never knew what those creatures will give me but in the end I have learned a lot. I was never prepared but it was like someone pressed my love button for dogs. I never knew I would care this much yet I never regreted giving so much love.

Giving them supportive care most especially when they needed me the most after they got the disease is my duty. I may be stressed, dizzy for not having a decent sleep, my efforts and resources may fall short but the memories and laughters my babies have given me will forever be treasured.

When I have my own house one day, I will still definitely buy a dog for myself. Dogs have special place in my heart. For some reasons they are just the sweetest if you treat them well.

Cats however are also cute but I have my personal reasons why I don't like them in the house like my siblings are asmatic, some have allergies and I, have bad experiences with cats too when I was little. And also just recently I have been scratched by a cat, you can say that I am scared of cats but really I love dogs than cats. No offense to cat lovers and cat moms here, this is just my preference.

Things to know when deciding to have house pets as dogs

• Have a great conviction because petting is like investing your own time, love and money. It's a life-long commitment.

• Know the breed and health history of your pet and their behavior.

• Visit the vet as soon as possible to have them vaccinated with anti-rabies, anti-parvovirus, anti-canine distemper etc. These are serious diseases that can cause worst as death to your pets. Money is a must in petting, if you don't want to end up like me who treated my babies home remedies instead because I can't simply afford the lab.tests, medications etc.

• Love them, give them healthy diet and hydrate them.

• Research about the do's and don't acts for your pets. Don't be so ignorant as me. Trust me, if you truly care about your pets, you'll gonna learn a lot of things. Like food allergies or contamination, common dog's skin problem treatments, viruses threats etc.

• As much as possible, adopt puppies of ages three months and older. By that stage, they have gained the necessary nutrients from their mom's milk which is incomparable to any other food sources.

• Have them dewormed as early as two weeks. Vitamins will be useless if worms are inside your pets stomach. Series of deworming must be done, consult a vet of when and how.

• Don't socialize them with other dogs if they are not yet vaccinated and it needs enough time for vaccine to take effect.

This just reminded me how blessed I am with the privilege to have dogs in the house. Now whitey and pichi are both pregnant doggies, more cuteness are coming soon. That realization that we have no control over some things and that pain of losing is normal in loving. So we must value the time we have with our pets or love ones.