Maybe I should try love again.

Well, not that I really do not love love, but certain circumstances changed my impression about love. To love isn't the problem actually or let me say is a lesser problem compared to being love the way you wanted to be love. I really do not know about other people, but for me I see love as a zero big deal because I could met a total stranger and develop my own sense of "love" for the person, some call it love at first sight, some say it's infatuation but regardless of the name given to it, it could be more real and lasting than the love you piled up over a period of time.

I had previously being in love with just few people, to be specific just two. But both didn't manage to grew up with me 1. Because she felt like she's not ready which I simply term as she's not interested 2. Because she had a boyfriend that she couldn't afford to lose but still don't want to lose me which I simply term to would you be a second option?. Truly in both cases, my intentions were pure, these are people that from the first day we met I have started to plan out a family with them, how our honeymoon would be, the number of children I would like to have and the likes all in my head.

But ever since I was young, I have learnt not to lose sleep over anything because it's a phase and it'd surely pass. When you understand perfectly that people can turn down your advances and feelings no matter how purer your intentions were then you understand the concept of love. The only thing you have control over to some extent is your feelings, you can't influence other people's feelings or decisions unless they allowed you to do so. Lately, I have met girls I like but the problem now is if I'm ready to try love again because of so many reasons I would share in some later articles.

And it shouldn't even be a problem if advances were rejected, because we might have rejected some before. And then there's this constant reason of not trying to love again which is mutual respect and loyalty from a partner because to me love alone means absolutely nothing. Are you ready to go hard for me as much as I would for you? These are things that bothers me about giving love a chance again. Would the energy and vibes be matching even at any of us lowest? Frankly, I don't believe in unconditional love because it's all lies, no love is unconditional at least to my own knowledge.

I also have the feelings and emotions change and I still haven't figured the reason for that except that we humans are naturally built that way. Because I had seen people whose the love in between seems unbreakable and things later go soar in the end. Though when I try to analyze issues like that, I'm always stucked and revolving around one answer that we are all human and our emotions about things change with time.

Maybe I would have to convince myself more about love and its concept before I give it a try again.