HOPE BEYOND ILLNESS: A Guide to Living WELL with a Chronic Condition - Introduction

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Introduction

 CROSSROADS

 “You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don’t think about who you have been. Who are you right now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully.” ~ Tony Robbins

One develops great courage from traveling the journey of illness. At the beginning, it is like a strange, formless entity that is born at the moment of the diagnosis, an undesired creature indeed. But it was born, and now it is right here with you, as you watch it stubbornly develop, nurtured by every step you take toward your capacity to accept things as they are, to better deal with your reality and, ultimately, to promote your own healing.

Every step of the way, from the simplest fear of tests and treatments to the overwhelming dread of facing and dealing with the endless “what ifs,” makes the creature develop a specific shape—until you can recognize it as what it really is: a power that was not there before.

One needs huge amounts of courage to face the fears that illness brings to our startled minds: fear of loss, of disability, suffering, and uncertainty; of what will be and what will never be again; of depending on others; and so much more. Ultimately, we are forced to face the fear of our own mortality.

“Courage is grace under pressure,” Hemingway beautifully said. When we feel we are about to drown in a life-threatening storm, the human spirit is capable of extraordinary achievements. The human spirit is undefeatable in the face of any adversity. No matter what challenge is presented to it, sooner or later it will take up that challenge with a burst of hope and find a way out, a way through, a reminder of the courage in you and of the undeniable way in which you have already been able to overcome many hurdles in your past.

The human spirit is invincible; it is that part of you that endlessly seeks healing and doesn’t give up, that always needs to find a way out and to keep going until you heal. And you will know that you have arrived at your healing when you experience serenity in the presence of your disease.

I had the choice to continue being who I had been until that moment, continuing to rely on the same skills in facing a life of illness; or I could choose to flow with what I was supposed to become. I chose the second path, and indeed I became a new self.

I was always an artist at heart; a bit of a dancer, singer, song-writer and actress. One day I found my spiritual path and the next day Multiple Sclerosis, an incurable illness, found me and brought me to a halt. MS became my life’s greatest lesson: How was I going to reveal this “thing” to be a gift from God, Source, the Universe, the cosmic soup, or from some higher sphere? What was my newly found spirituality and awareness supposed to teach me through this?

From one day to the next I became numb from toes to earlobes and almost paralyzed. I was no longer able to dance, speak fluently, sing, or play an instrument. My doctor told me:

“Go home and get your business in order… and order yourself a wheelchair.”

But in truth, my life was just beginning; blessed, in fact, by this alleged “end of life” as I had known it. Finding out what this curve ball had to teach me now became my life’s main task.

I started by observing the meanings that I was giving to my illness: was it a tragedy? Was it really the end of my life? Was it a test? And how were those meanings affecting me? All this stole a tremendous amount of my time and energy. I was at a crossroads and there were urgent decisions to be made.

I remember the day, more than 30 years ago, when I decided at the deepest level what my attitude was going to be in the face of this challenge and who I wanted to become, no matter what the circumstances might bring. I learned how important it was to accept reality just as it is, to find the balance between surrendering to what is—the inevitable that life brings to you—and learning the lessons from that. And, above all, I learned about not giving up.

I also discovered the powerful inner guidance and wisdom that comes to us through our nighttime dreams. I was able to make crucial decisions for my healing based on actual dreams. Indeed, some of my deepest insights and awakenings in life have come through the Dream State.

Gradually, over time, I came to realize that taken together all these aspects—having a positive attitude, accepting what is and listening to the higher wisdom within ourselves—constitute a big chunk of what is meant by a “spiritual life.”

Eager to find what could help me, I began to study what is called the Body-Mind connection. In the years that followed, I trained in many different therapeutic and healing approaches. I learned about, and eventually began to teach, the Body-Mind (and even Spirit) connection, and I created and led support groups for people with various chronic and life-threatening illnesses.

Among the many lessons that the MS taught me was the power of humor. I discovered that laughter—a well-known healing factor—is indeed the greatest healer. As a Yiddish Proverb says, “What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.”

In a similarly humorous vein, I developed my personal philosophy based on the expression “Shit happens.” Because “shit” does happen! But not all shit is bad. Have you ever passed a fertilized field right before spring? It stinks! Of course, for shit is compost. But it also makes beautiful things blossom and grow.

I am still in awe of what the stinky fertilizer of illness made possible for me. I was transformed. I changed from a wannabe actress and singer to a co-worker of the Higher Power—or so I choose to believe. I discovered that everything that has already happened and is now happening to me has its reason. I know now that life is working for me and through me.

Thanks to all my suffering and fear, I became a vehicle for something bigger than myself—I call it the Spirit of Life, Source, Divine Spirit and sometimes just Spirit—that makes it possible for me to help others. Though at the beginning I was overwhelmed by the drama of it all, eventually I was able to view the experience with a broader perspective and learn how to use it for physical, emotional and spiritual growth for myself and others.

This is how I found my purpose. I discovered that I love helping people in distress, those who feel lost and paralyzed in their lives. I help them learn how to overcome any challenge through understanding our ultimate essence and purpose, our drives, needs and emotions, and how crucial it is not to give up. We must do everything we can, give it 100% of our effort, and then surrender the outcome to the Spirit of Life. I came to realize that challenges are presented to teach us to trust that doing the best you can is always good enough.

I cannot offer you a methodical program or plan of numbered steps and strategies to heal yourself. But I would like to offer you an array of possibilities, many of which I used for my own recovery, and others which I learned later and have proved useful to many people I have been honored to work with and assist.

After each chapter, I will share pieces of my own journey, and tips to help you start shifting physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. That is the road I took and the one I invite you to take with this book.

By using the tools I’ve acquired in my own journey towards recovery and growth, I’ve been able to inspire, assist, guide and cheer on others to achieve transformation in their lives.

Things shift when we can understand why we do certain things that don’t work for us, and why we don’t do those things that can fulfill our real needs and make us happy. Learning this truth enables us to feel serene, content and more capable of dealing with whatever we have to face.

I hope that this book will inspire you with pearls of wisdom, seeds for contemplation and practical tools to help you walk your life’s journey with beauty and courage.

Pearl of Wisdom: Doing the best you can is always good enough.

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