I don't think people understand how hard it is and the strength it takes to pull yourself out of a dark place mentally, it's the hardest thing to do.
The pain and situation may not be your fault, you can't blame yourself for something that is out of your control, but it's your responsibility to heal from it, move on and not let it define you or your future.
Don't look at yourself and judge yourself by this moment, instead see yourself overtime and you will see how far you've come and how far you can really go.
Every thought is optional, choose happy and positive thoughts!
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As you said, it's not that easy to kick those dark ideas out of the mind. But it is a must. Eitherwise, you can't make any progress in this life.