VIRGIN TILL NIKKAH (VTN)
*very vital 2 all ladies*
A sister wrote but edited:- REORIENTATION: ''DON'T WAKE
UP LOVE BEFORE TIME''
I thought I had waited enough, so when it was time to go for
my NYSC, I made up my mind to date any cute guy that
comes my way, after all I was mature and ripe for marriage.
Though I never believed in dating, but so many things just
appeared to be wrong with my life, even when they were not.
I had been a virgin since birth, never dated, this was due to
what my mum taught me. Her words, ''never wake up love
when it is not time, and when it is time, don't fall for it, stand
with your eyes open, then walk into
it.'' I bounded those words to my heart all through my
university days, but as soon as it was time for my NYSC, I
felt they should be thrown away as trash.
I was then a big girl, who should be approached for
marriage. My new believe was that, if a lady does not get her
man on camp, then she is likely going to settle a single lady,
or with any kind of man outside her desires. I was losing my
faith and trust in God, which had led me thus far, I was now
following the way of the world. Just three days at the camp,
he came to tell me he was interested in me.
His words, ''I love the way you carry yourself, your
religiousness, and simplicity. You will surely be a wonderful
wife to your husband when you get married. So who is the
lucky guy, I mean your fiance?''
His question threw me off balance that I didn't know when I
told him I was still single and available. Foolish me, was I
supposed to advertise my singleness and availability to a
man whom God has not revealed anything about me to?
He only admired my beauty, liked my character and
simplicity, not that he got guidance from God that I was the
lady for him. But I have already revealed to him how
desperate I was towards having a man in my life.
Anything done outside the guidance of Allah, is indeed
astray. He was handsome and intelligent, but still he was not
the right man. Did I care? Did I even seek Allah's guidance
concerning him? I do get guidance from Allah quite alright,
but I was desperate to have a ''Him'' by my side.
When he heard my reply about being single and available,
that day he began his chase after me. Like a He-goat, he kept
coming, and like a She-goat on heat period, I gave him a try.
The door of my heart opened, and then we began dating. My
emotions and feelings clouded my spiritual eyes and ear,
that all I see in my dreams was his image and his voice.
On one occasion, I saw both of us purchasing wedding
items.
All that made me to believe I was already in the will of Allah
concerning a life partner. So my feelings and love for him
increased, I was now visiting uncontrollably, and was
hanging out with him. Hmm, the devil must have said, ''the
'all her life virgin' has found a lover, let's see how she will
control herself. ''Was it easy ? Remember, Allah subuaana
watahaala says in d Qur'an dat 'Do not move near zinah'.
Could my legs still be crossed? I was losing my mind, and
the urge for sex
would not spare me. Day by day, this urge increased, it was
burning like fire. I wish water could quench it... No way, it
was beyond a physical fire.
Then that night came, the night of becoming one flesh. It
was his saliva into my saliva, his body into my body, and his
blood into my blood. I was deflowered, my twenty-six years
of virginity gone in five minutes.
Did I plan to break it that way? Without walking down the
aisle? I was ashamed of myself, naked before a man who
has not visited my parents, let alone pay my dowry. ''Is this
me?'' I asked myself. ''What went wrong?''
Uncontrolled tears quietly escaped from my eyes. When he
stood up to dress up, a shining object mistakenly left the
pocket of his trouser, and made its way to the ground. When
I glanced at it, I was shocked to discover the obvious, it was
his wedding ring. ''Are you married?'' I quickly asked. He
didn't say a word, he only nodded, thereafter, he apologized
and left the room as if nothing happened.
Picking up my dress was something I found difficult to do,
until I heard a voice, Come de go make I arrrange my room,''
the voice of the owner of the room whom he paid just to
exploit me. Hmm, my dignity was buried alive.
Before the stranger, I dressed up, still thinking he was
outside, I came out, but he was no where to be found. Since
I left camp, I have never set my eyes on him, who even know
if he was a true corper.
All my dreams were mere imaginations. I threw away my
mother's advice and Allah's commandment; and the grace
of God that kept me all through my campus years only to get
all that, now in tears I'm picking them up after the mistake
has been made....
Dear corper and readers, are you also going to make such
mistake? The grace and mercy of Allah, including the Godly
counsel and guidance that had kept you going, will you treat
them like trash even at this point of your youth service?
Many sisters and brothers get defiled at camp, they lost their
self control immediately they see someone who is likely to
be their life partner.
Why will it be said that it was during your NYSC you got
defiled?
You whose orientation
is begining to change simply because you enter a new
environment, watch yourself
very well. You mustn't meet your life partner at the camp or
in a new environment. If you do, seek Allah's counsel
(Istikhaarah) concerning it, before accepting the
proposal. You mustn't date to know him or her better, if you
do, your emotions and feelings towards them are likely to
cloud your mind, and this will make it difficult for you to get
Allah's guidance. God still guides us, He is ever interested
and more interested in our marriage than we
are or think.
Put Him first, and you will be glad you did
Please share to others after reading....May Allah forgive our
shortcomings Ameen ameen