How to be yourself in a relationship

If you know how to stay true to yourself when you’re in love, you’ll build the relationship of your dreams. The healthiest relationships involve people who are true to themselves! The problem is that when we fall in love, we tend to mold ourselves into what we think our partners want.

If you’re true to yourself, it’s easier to act in ways that build intimacy in relationships, and that will make your relationship more fulfilling,” says Amy Brunell, assistant professor of psychology at Ohio State University’s Newark campus. Being true to yourself is easier said than done because we want to be loved. We fear rejection, conflict, and being left. It’s hard to be truly ourselves – especially when we’re in a new relationship.

When I first started this blog, I called it Quips and Tips for Love and Relationships. But just yesterday I realized I want to focus on encouraging you and me to be true to ourselves. The more authentic we are, the happier and healthier we’ll be. This has a direct effect on our relationships!

How to Stay True to Yourself When You’re in Love

“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.” – May Sarton.

What the research shows about authenticity and love

A recent study found that being true to yourself is the best way to increase romance in your relationship. College students who reported being more true to themselves also reported more positive dating relationships. This study found that both men and women who reported being more true to themselves also behaved in more intimate and less destructive ways with their partners. They felt that their relationships were more positive, and also reported greater feelings of personal well-being.

In other words, the more connected you are to your thoughts, opinions, hopes, and dreams, the better able you’ll be to deeply connect to your partner or spouse. If you can’t connect to yourself – if you’re not authentic – you won’t develop strong, healthy connections to others.