Lost Passion

"Your passion will lead you to your purpose"

A very famous quotes that everybody knows.

But what if you suddenly lost your passion?

You woke up one day and find out that you're not capable anymore to do the things you once so passionate about?

You lost the fire that keeps you alive and showed you the meaning of your existence.

What if that so called "passion" became your greatest burden?

This is Sequoia, and this is my story...

I grew up with a pen and paper always with me. Ever since, reading and writing has been my greatest hobby. That is why I always bring them with me wherever I go and whatever I do.

When I feel happy, I write it down.

When I feel sad, I write it down.

No matter what emotion it is, I always make sure to write it down.

At some point, it is my way of expressing my emotion especially the anger. In this way, I could not hurt anybody and it really helped me a lot.

Poem was my very first masterpiece. I don't know but I really love hearing rhyme words.

I can still remember that it was all about my dog who died because he was poisoned.

Later on, when I was in my 6th grade, I've discovered the pocket books where I've read a lot of love strories and I became so addicted to it.

Because of that, I was inspired to create a novel but unfortunately, I wasn't able to finish it because I got distracted.

But I didn't stop writing there, I continued writing in my diary and journal until I was on 8th grade.

I was influenced by my cousin about music and this time, I started to write songs. I composed 3 songs but I just kept it to myself.

I haven't got the chance to publicize it cause I got disappointed in the thought that I can't give my composition tune because I can't play guitar. So, I stop writing songs.

Everything that happened, I wrote it all in my journal.

Years later, I was introduced to wattpad, an application where you can create and read stories.

I've read a lot of stories from it and was motivated again to create stories and novels.

I created an account and start posting stories. In fact, it boom and some readers complimet my works. I was so happy back then. I continued writing with a great joy in my heart. All I want is to express and share my ideas.

Everything went well not until someone bashed my stories. She threw a lot of hurting words to me and I got very upset. That is why I stopped making stories in that app again and just go back in writing poetry, stories and journals. But this time, I kept it to myself and never had the plan to exposed it again.

Writing became my best bud. It was the only thing I could run to whenever I feel bad, angry , happy and upset.

When the world turns it back at me, I know my pen and paper is just there. Willing to sacrifice their existence just for me to feel better.

There were moments were I can't understand myself and by just holding my pen, it gives me the sense of importance.

They are not just merely a thing, they were my best friend.

That no matter what I do, no matter how broken I am. They will just be right there, giving me courage without judging my weakness.

But my world suddenly broke into pieces.

I wanted to cry but no tears is coming out.

All I can do is scream in silence.

The previously fire-successive ideas suddenly disappeared.

I can't even write a single word or create a phrase.

Finishing a sentence became too hard for me.

Expressing my feelings that used to be a piece of cake for me became a burden.

I lost my sanity the moment I discovered that I lost the only thing I can be proud of.

I have no idea what just happened, I just slept and woke up knowing nothing.

I tried the best that I could in order to bring back the fire and spark in writing. But I couldn't felt it anymore.

My best bud, became silent to me. All I saw was a plain white paper and pen.

I lost the essence of my existence.

Losing your passion, is like slowly dying while you are breathing.

I was standing in the middle of darkness.

Having no idea where to go and what to do.

I slowly close my eyes and let go of tgat single piece of hope in my heart.

Maybe it is where I belong.

To be left in te dark.

To stay hidden and never come out.

There's no way out.

Hello everyone! This is my entry for the prompt: darkness of Miss @JonicaBradley

I am just a newbie here so please you are free to judge me. And give some tips also.

Anyhow, feel free to join the prompt too!

The rules are simple:

Write about darkness

Write 100% original content

Write at least 600 words

Tag me @JonicaBradley

Have Fun!