Childhood trauma

Hello and happy Sunday to all.

When you reach a certain age, your African parents begin to pressure you into marriage; in fact, I believe practically every parent around the world, particularly moms, does this. For the time being, I can say there are some things my family tells me, including extended family, about marriage😅 and all I can say is I still have a lot on my plate go now.

I will not advise anyone to rush into marriage, nor would I suggest that you do so to please others. Many people enter marriage without parenting their children properly. I recall reading somewhere that "trauma" influences how we act at times, and I completely agree because most therapists try to trace the explanation back to your past (childhood).

I remember hating it when people were biased in secondary school because everyone had favorites and treated them differently. I wanted to be different and treat everyone equally, and now that I have a better understanding, I can trace it back to my childhood. I used to think my parents were favoring my siblings over me, and I didn't like it. Meanwhile, it's almost like a cultural thing where the senior siblings always get the larger share, or at least that's how they did it, and for me, I believed everyone should be treated equally, and that mindset I carried for a while, and it influenced how I dealt with people.

It might not only be about being partial people have different experiences some might not even realize that it is trauma they have.

That's why its good to raise your child in a good environment, children pick things up fast without even realizing and when they grow up they start to act it out.

We were discussing in church about something similar to this, about when a family is scattered, violent and whatever you can think of. There are 2 ways a child will react to it.

1. The receivers:- these ones carry on what they see. For example if this child's father use to beat his wife, when he grows up he might see it as something normal and feel it's okay to beat women, he might not even realize that He has that anger issue until it happens.

2. The rebellious:- These ones they see what is happening and make up their mind not to do it, sometimes they will be very keen on it to never beat a woman or some might not marry because of that.

So we should be careful of the environment we raise kids and I know it might not be easy but we should try to heal from childhood trauma especially those ones your parents might not notice.

Thank you for reading.

I hope you have a lovely week.