Why doesn't comparison bring us happiness?
We human minds have wonderful features that set them apart from other species. The ability to think is the most powerful skill we have been given, but the results we get change depending on how we use this power. While human beings can travel to the past and the future, dream, analyze, compare, boast of being alive, they are actually creatures that can set great traps for themselves thanks to the same characteristics.
One of these pitfalls is benchmarking. Although we experience ourselves as a content, we know what goes through our minds, our feelings, our thoughts, our intentions. However, we never have the opportunity to access all the content of the people we interact with, under any circumstances.
At a seminar I attended, one of the speakers made a small suggestion: “Don't compare yourself to the outside of others!”
What a powerful word! Since the only interior we can know is ourselves as far as we know, all the comparisons we make are wrong not only in terms of our spirit world but also logically. Is it possible to compare two things that are not in the same category to give a correct and useful solution?
Yet there must be a reason why we keep doing this consistently. What could be the things that serve this?
The absence of an objective measure of our happiness may lead people to understand their happiness by comparing them with others.
Those who are better than others, who have more than others, succeed in surviving. Therefore, comparison and jealousy arise.
Factors such as external factors and social media constantly trigger our comparison urge. Our mind transforms the data we collect from the virtual world, where others live wonderful lives, to the idea that we are "missing".
Whatever the reason may be, comparison will inevitably lose in the end, because we not only depend on others but also leave our happiness in the hands of guesswork. The satisfaction we derive from looking at those who are worse off than us is also very temporary, because there will always be those who are, or seem, better off than us. Comparison takes us away from our own nature, from our inner peace. It also prevents us from understanding, accepting and developing ourselves. We become unable to determine our direction.
If you want to understand yourself, would you compare with someone else? Can you understand anything by comparison? Do you understand an oil painting by comparing it to another painting, or by being fully aware of that painting?”
Yes, you have to admit. We are human and we have such a side. Perhaps, despite everything, a part of us will continue the habit of comparison. The little fairy of envy will keep whispering softly in our ear, trying to lure us into traps. But without excluding its existence, without suppressing it, we can still be aware of our negative emotions as well as positive ones and still retain control. In this case, at least we will have a better chance of recognizing and noticing the whole picture.
