The golden rules of making effective and constructive criticism

Most of us agree that what is said is much more important than how it is said. However, no matter how much we pay attention to this issue, we can feel that we are walking on thin and fragile ice when it comes to criticism. Let's face it, it can be difficult to give or receive criticism no matter how it's done.

Just because we're in a position to criticize someone doesn't mean we're the greatest people in the world or that we've never made mistakes. While criticizing, we must try to empathize with the other party, stay within the framework of respect, choose our sentences carefully without allowing misunderstandings, anger and resentment, and learn to criticize without offending the person in front of us.

Constructive criticism, which allows better results when presented correctly, can also be used to provide motivation, strengthen relationships, and contribute to development. Here are the rules for making effective and constructive criticism to help you with this:

Get to know yourself and the person you criticize well

If the person in front of you has any deficiencies in a subject and you do not see yourself as competent in this area, it may be good to avoid criticism. In addition, when criticizing, you should consider the knowledge of the person in front of you and his/her competence in the subject you are criticizing. Otherwise, you may get into unwanted discussions and face situations that you cannot get out of.

Focus on situations, not people

Perhaps one of the most common mistakes and/or overlooked details in criticism is to target the person being criticized instead of focusing on the relevant issue. When you start to criticize, make sure that you do not unwittingly attack the other person as you give feedback on the situation. This can help prevent the other person from feeling potentially attacked.

Choose the right time

“Timing” is a very important criterion in making criticism, as it is in many areas of life. Acting too early or being too late can undermine the value of your criticism and negatively affect the other person's performance or your relationship. For example, making destructive criticisms of a project that is still in development process from the very beginning or giving feedback in a way that may demoralize your colleague before an important presentation can have negative results both individually and institutionally. Therefore, you should strive to give your feedback at the right time.

Be open and clear

Trying to show that you are criticizing indirectly while criticizing someone can both cause misunderstandings and prevent the message you want to give from reaching its place. Therefore, when making criticisms, use a clear language and do not compromise your honesty; so that you do not damage your dignity.

Prefer one-on-one conversations

It is very important that you create a suitable conversation environment with the person you are talking about, especially when you criticize work-related issues. Criticisms you make in public, during a meeting or in a crowded social environment can cause misunderstanding. And even if your intention is to be more moderate and make constructive criticism, it can create a negative atmosphere because you are not speaking one-on-one.

Make sure to use 'I' language.

You can establish a more constructive dialogue if you try to use the phrase "I" instead of you, so that your speech does not turn into an accusatory, judgmental or offensive form while criticizing. “Why did you do that here?” or "Your attitude is very disturbing...", you can use sentences such as "I would prefer this way..." or "It made me feel that way...". The I language is a point to be considered not only when criticizing, but also when communicating in bilateral relations.

Keep your calm

People watching an ordinary street fight may be on the side of shouting and trying to get to the top. However, a real critic criticizes by giving importance to the opinions of the person in front of him, using effective listening techniques and maintaining his calm attitude to the end.

Take advantage of the sandwich method

If you haven't heard of the "sandwich method" before, we can say that it is a useful and effective technique that you can use in many areas. In this technique, which has a similar meaning to its name, when criticizing someone, it is recommended to first give positive feedback and then give feedback that can be improved. For example, you can tell a coworker that you are very good at customer relations, add that they can improve their presentation in meetings, and shape your speech by the fact that you are very excited to see progress. Thus, your criticism is "sandwiched" between two positives, making it seem less harsh.

Dialogue, not monologue

Criticizing does not mean that you will speak alone and the other person will only listen to you. If you want your criticism to be constructive, it is imperative that you have a healthy communication with the person in front of you.

Don't lose your professional approach

When criticizing, you should pay attention not to overdo it and to know where you will stand. As in all matters, too much criticism can start to repel people after a while. Try to protect your boundaries, respect the other person and not lose your professionalism, especially when criticizing work-related issues. When criticizing someone, instead of humiliating the other person by pointing out the deficiencies, try to give tips on how to eliminate these deficiencies based on your experience and knowledge.

Important note: Don't make criticism a habit.

All people living on Earth are different and unique. People's opinions are not about how things happened, but how they are perceived by individuals. That's why you shouldn't expect anyone to think like you. Being critical of everyone can negatively affect your relationships. While taking care to criticize in the right and necessary places, try to be in the mode of criticism constantly.