Don't let your need for approval get you down
Our very pertinent need for validation plays an important role in our relationships. As in all areas of life, the secret of our need for approval is in balance. If you need validation too much, it may be holding you back from doing the things you want to do.
Jones defines the desire for approval as follows: “It is a strong need to be loved and approved by almost every person whom one finds important in the society in which one lives. The essence of this belief is that love and approval emerge as a need rather than a desired state. The degree of our need for validation is related to the geography we live in as well as our childhood. Especially like ours, “What does it say?” People have a high need for approval in societies where such words are used frequently. Turkey is a society where collectivist culture is common. “Individuals from collectivist cultures showed a higher need for social approval compared to Americans considered representative of the individualistic culture”.
If you think you need approval and you start to feel unhappy because of this, analyze this situation objectively. Why do you need the approval of others so much? What does it mean to you that someone approves of you? How do you feel when someone you care about doesn't approve of you? Do you use sentences that deny yourself in order to get approval from your friends or people around you? Do you live without revealing your essence just so they will love you? Or are you trying to make yourself appear less intelligent, less successful, or less beautiful than you are just so that others will be happy? How long do you intend to continue your life by sacrificing yourself in this way? Don't you think you deserve to live just as you are?
If you didn't get enough approval from your parents as a child, it may have caused you as an adult to become addicted to the feeling of approval from the outside world. The person who is dependent on the approval from the outside world and starting to work on these issues with a psychologist can help increase the person's self-confidence. It should not be forgotten that we are no longer children with a high need for approval, but adults who have the capacity to live their lives 24/7 without needing the approval of others. Our worth as a human being does not depend on whether or not others approve of us. Whoever praises us today may criticize us negatively tomorrow. If our thoughts about ourselves change according to what other people think of us, we have a difficult time. By showing ourselves self-compassion under all circumstances, we can prevent approval addiction from taking over.