Do you force yourself to make decisions?

While the endless running of the city causes us to feel everything even more intense, we try to exist by rushing and forcing, and we get tired of fighting. However, life is not a war, but yes we perceive it as a war! Doesn't every spring come when its time comes? Despite a cold, chaotic winter. Don't the flowers that bloom every spring silently whisper to us that everything has its time?

I guess that's why nature always loses its ability to be inspiring despite us. Whenever things start to get mixed up in my life, whenever I feel like I'm stuck in a dead end, I go to a tree. It reminds me of what I forgot and gives me strength in silence. I realize again that the power of a seed to become a tree comes not from defying the wind, but from that confidence in its own essence.

When I look at a tree, it is my inspiration to see how it is nourished by the huge relationship it has established with its roots and how it is connected with life in a secure manner despite everything. They are the quietest friends of my uncertain times and broken heart. Whenever I am undecided about something, I go to the trees. Sometimes for hours, I silently watch them flutter their leaves against the wind. Sure, an apple doesn't fall on my head in one viewing, but it calms my indecisive heart.

What do you call the pursuit of the state of being able to do what a tree does in the ordinary, with trainings, therapies and studies? Don't get me wrong, the intention is very nice, but the more we run, the more we get lost.

Why am I writing these? There is something very clear that I have seen around my students and around me lately: Indecision. What always happens when you try to make decisions by pushing: Life gets messy. When I look back, I see more clearly that the times when I tried to make decisions by pushing, regardless of whether it was a relationship, a job or a subject, were the times when I created a whirlpool for myself. Seeing every finish line doesn't mean you can get across it gracefully. You can't make the decision to end a job or a relationship that isn't good for you by force. You can't make decisions with "maybe", "tomorrow" or by asking your friends. Making a decision on something is like mixing different liquid mixtures in a jar to me. If you give it enough time and wait, you'll see the mixture decompose on its own. That's just how decision-making is!

For a very long time in my life, I used to answer the simplest questions asked of me, "I don't know". My mom always said, "You never know who to love". Think about my situation… I mean, I was undecided for a very long time in my life. Over time, by starting to work on myself and asking myself, I learned to hear the voice coming from within and to turn on that voice, I am learning. Yes, learning never ends! I used to wait for a sign whenever I was on the eve of a decision, then misinterpret them and get even more confused. However, every breath I take is a huge sign in itself!

Therefore, I can clearly say that the decision is not made, the decision appears. Decision does not emerge from a cramped place. The decision is not made in haste. The decision is not made by considering the positive or negative effects of the situation. Decision is like the flow of raindrops. Raindrops have no chance of flowing otherwise. Trying to change the flow of raindrops is a pointless endeavor. In fact, all life is based on learning that flow. Decision is like seeing land in the middle of the sea, literally all of a sudden. It comes out in an instant. And it transforms you! Nothing will ever be the same, that's what all crossroads are about!

Whenever that snow appears, I sit next to him in silence, doing nothing, even if it sometimes compresses me and sometimes comforts me. Because I know that a path that will change me from head to toe is right there, and the decision is already out of whack. So sometimes I sit for hours, sometimes for days.

When I'm ready, I tell my decision to a small number of people I trust. Or there are times when I say it silently to my own heart. I say: "I'm going to that land!"

That black can be anything. A job, a man, a situation, anything…

I do this every time I make the decision to hit the road. It's a game I play with life to walk the path. In this way, my deepest intention is to see if my decision is compatible with life.

Because even though we cannot grasp it while we are living, “decisions compatible with life” are always there, even before that land appears. We do not make decisions because the land appears, only the clouds recede to reveal the land. And we say, "Look, there's land there!"

In the hope that those who are on the eve of the decision will find their own way without rushing…