Discover what lies behind your complaints

When I was doing music work, we had gone to Europe on business and stayed there for four days due to long rehearsals. There were times in my life when everything was overlapping and I was extremely unhappy, and I was too aggressive for that. One day, after lunch, we had 2-3 hours of free time, and we were relaxing by the pool. At that time, we started talking to my beloved brother, my mentor, and I started to complain as usual. As you know, I came back from the dead in America, I had a live operation, my brother, my grandmother, my grandfather passed away recently, I can't make good money, no one understands me, I don't have a girlfriend, I want to have a girlfriend... Then I will share the conversations between us with you because it is a very big thing in my life. It has been a turning point, I think it will be useful to you as well. Although years have passed, I remember our conversations sentence by sentence.

B: As you know, I came back from the dead in America, I had surgery alive, my brother, grandmother, grandfather passed away recently, I can't make good money, nobody understands me, I don't have a girlfriend, I want to have a girlfriend...

X: Why would a man want to be with you?

B: I'm pretty, smart, fit, I cook well, I'm fun, my good friend, my body is beautiful…

X: Yes, I agree with all of them but you are unhappy and complain all the time! Why would anyone want to be with someone who is unhappy and constantly complaining? No one wants to wake up with an unhappy person in the morning, do you?

B: No, of course not.

X: You know that I love you and that I'm saying this because I'm thinking of you. If you're someone I don't like, I won't tell or comment. I know that you will not misunderstand, besides, I understand you very well since I have been through these roads. What you're going through is very difficult, I know this as someone close to you, but do you know how you look from the outside for a person who doesn't know you? Let me give you an example.

B: Small, cute, playful but their voices are so annoying and high-pitched, you want to love like that, but when you hear her voice, you get annoyed and run away.

X: Exactly! So how are bulldogs?

B: Strong, tough, durable…

X: Yes, I think too, also bulldogs are not loud, they are alert, they observe well, they only bark to protect themselves if they see a danger. In this illustration you are a chihuahua. Yes, you're beautiful, you're sympathetic, but people avoid you because you're always squealing with a high pitched voice. It's okay with me, I understand you, but for those who don't know you, you look like this. I know that this is because of this difficult period you are going through. I know that this period is difficult, but I also know that if you are whole within yourself like a bulldog, you will get through this very easily. Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing you, it's not my place. You can also choose to be a chihuahua in your life, I respect it, but after a while I will stop being friends with you. If you have a problem, come, tell us, let's try to solve it, but repeating them is not a solution, let alone removing people from your environment, it's a pity you live with these cycles all the time. Also, everyone has a problem. Why would anyone listen to you complaining all the time? Once upon a time, I was just like you, getting angry and grumbling at every difficulty. Then one day my meditation teacher came to me and said, "Who are you angry with?"

Yes, friends, years passed after this speech, all kinds of troubles took place, my business collapsed, my health deteriorated, it happened, this happened… There were times when I came back to the same point, I experienced very miraculous events. When you look at the whole, everything happens and will continue to happen. The key is to find the reasons. These experiences do not only happen to me, we all experience similar things as parts of the whole. As someone who is both very social and has a job with people, I can say very clearly: “IF SOMEONE COMPLAINS CONTINUOUSLY ABOUT THE SAME ISSUE, HE IS ACTUALLY HAPPY WITH THE SITUATION!” Therefore, please evaluate the issues you are complaining about with the following five steps and be honest with yourself. I recommend that you write.

Analyze.

Find out what you can do to get out of this situation.

Eliminate from your life anything that does not benefit you.

Learn and leave it behind so that you don't experience the same situation over and over.

Start your next evolutionary process.

Change may not happen in a day, but even starting to change will create great benefits in your life, the important thing is to be determined. An American proverb says, "In a sentence, but if there is, the rest is a lie." Wishing you to get rid of the “buts”… Remember that no one will come with their magic wand and offer you a wonderful life…