Marriage is the process by which
two people make their relationship
public, official, and permanent.
It is the joining of two people in
a bond that putatively lasts until
death, but in practice is often cut
short by separation or divorce.What the google stated when I searched on it.
Being married is not that easy as everybody thinks. There are hardships that we encounter. Troubles that we face. Problems and struggles that come every now and then. But these are all part of marriage. We're not given problems that we can't overcome as they say. It's just a matter of how we handle it. How we solve and make solutions out of it. There are things in life that I encountered, learned and faced as a married woman.
1. Adjustment. It takes time to adjust when you're married. Married is very different from being girlfriend/ boyfriend. You need to adjust so that the both of you will come to an agreement. It's not easy but step by step, we can do it. Some adjusted easily but for us, there are time that we still need to adjust.
2. Calmness. Keep my mouth shut if my husband is angry. I don't want to add to his anger. So what I do is to keep my mouth shut. Just answer what he asks. If I see to it that he's calm, that's the time I talk to him. Don't ever argue if one of you can keep still. Sometimes, I'm the reason why he gets angry especially when he's drunk. What I do is not to get angry also. Instead, I stay calm.
Sometimes we can't let out what we feel. We just keep quiet and that's it. No more talking about what happened. He becomes quiet and I keep still also. What I want is that we should know how to express what we feel in order for it to be solved. There are times when I tell him that we should talk about this and that. But he always say that it's in the past. Don't think about it. We ran out of topics everyday. So we face our phones instead of telling stories. We tell each other that we say something but ended laughing.
What we always talk about is when will we have kids. When will we have a baby. When will we build our house. When will I be employed and so on. So everytime we encounter a video that shows a baby, we show it to each other. Then we end up smiling. They're so cute and adorable. Aahhh, thinking about it makes me smile.
There are advantages and disadvantages of being married. I have someone to rely on. Someone who can talk to me. I share my pain and happiness to him. He's there when I'm sick. I'm there for him as well. We help each other. When I go to market and bought many, he come and fetch me. He holds it and I have nothing to hold. He comfort me and care for me everytime my period comes. He always massage it to ease the pain. But sometimes there are arguments. Being drunk is what I hate the most from him. I keep still when he's drunk. When he's sobber, that's the time I tell what I feel. He can control it now.
I can't find the right words for me to express what I feel. Same to him. So we barely talk if he's upset and I'm upset. The good thing about it is he's the one who talks to me first. Then that's it. We're okay again. Sometimes, we can't avoid having comparisons. But we should not compare. It's not okay.
Having arguments sometimes can help in building our relationship stronger. There will be arguments, misunderstandings and problems even if it's a perfect marriage. Those are all part of making us mature. We can handle it so try to solve it on our own before asking help from others.
What I wrote in here are based on my experience.
