Today I am broken (A true story)

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Avatar for Samantha-Smith
3 years ago

Warning: Words and scenes related to violence and aggression contained in article.

Broken

I wake up and look
To my beloved
Country of birth,
In turmoil.
6000 miles away.

A man, erstwhile
A president,
Trailblazed a path...
Of corruption and fraud,
Moral and financial
Coffers emptied.
Sentenced to jail:
15 months.

Protestors march.
They loot,
They riot.
They come to destroy.
Protesting incarceration
Is the excuse,
The cloak they hide behind.

Shattered glass
In every unkept pavement crack.
Smoke billows spew,
From malls and factory hats.
Burnt out,
Cars litter the road.
People lie...
Dead by it's side.

Anarchy reigns.
Gunpowder lingers in the air.

Crack. Crack. Crack.

Another volley rattles.
Men and women scatter...
Into the red mist of night.
Trolleys brimming,
With the spoils of their hunt.
Homeward bound.

An old man cowers
In the sanctity
of his bedroom.
He hears the Zello chat.
THEY might be coming back.
Shops exhausted,
Are homes next...
On the shopping list?

A man,
The President,
Speaks
On the tv.
To a nation
Under fire.
The army will deploy...
Finally.

But, there is no State
of Emergency.
Politics at play...
Once again.
.
This evening,
Madiba turns in his grave, and I...
I cry...
For my family, for my friends,
For my beloved country.
For she is broken.

This evening,
I lie...
6000 miles away,
With one eye and one ear
To my phone.
Alert to it's constant beep.

I am so tired
Of the corruption.
Tired of the ineptitude.
Tired of the hatred.
Tired of the violence.
Tired of the futility.
So very very tired...

But this evening,
I am broken...
And I cannot sleep.

Copyright asserted 12 July 2021 Samantha Smith

Footnote:

I share this poem with you; my thoughts on the chaos and destruction that has consumed South African provinces today and throughout this evening, and is still ongoing. I live in the UK and haven't been able to work today. I am unsettled and constantly distracted by the needless aggression swallowing my homeland and the fear for my loved ones. So, I haven't read much, curated much or commented much today...on anything. It didn't feel right. But, I needed to write this to do something. To say something! And I found it cathartic in a way to express my feelings.

My father is the man in the bedroom in this poem and I can't even begin to imagine his deep rooted sense of vulnerability and fear. I feel so helpless and I am so worried for his safety and that of my family and close friends who are in a real lockdown fight to protect their lives and their homes. The local communities are standing up to the rioters and looters but the fight is far from over and they are very outnumbered. I am on the Zello app which is a kind of walkie takie/CB radio style phone app, listening in to the constant messages in the community, the calls for help, the responses, the constant swing between calm and storm. I am also on a number of local community whatsapp groups monitoring the situation so that I can do what I can to help my family from afar. Please pray with me, and if you don't believe in a higher being, at least send positive thoughts for a nation and people in need of your strength.

Blessings everyone.

Photo credit: David Geib

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3 years ago

Comments

Sorry to hear about what's happening in South Africa. I'll go Google and find out what's going on after this. And I'll remember you and your family in prayers. I do hope all is well with your family. Take care.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Thank you. It all seems a lot quieter in my dad's neighbourhood at the moment. I think all the prayers and positive responses to what is happening, are helping. I actually got some sleep last night which was definitely needed. We can only hope that this senseless activity ends soon. Community leaders of the areas where the rioters reside have met with local community leaders in my dad's area and have acknowledged that they are essentially cutting off their nose to spite their face now, have condemned the looting, rioting and violence and have asked their communities to stop. The affected community has today been able to regroup, rest and restock essential food supplies and fuel (although these are being rationed by shops and we are told that until the army provides escorts to distribution trucks, no more food or fuel will be delivered as they are fearful of the trucks being petrol bombed again). Take care and thank you for your support my friend.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Thank you for the update. Any inch toward normalcy is good news. At least the situation seems to be headed in the right direction. Never let up on prayers and that God will send his angels to protect his children.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Thankfully, my dad now lives just 2 hours drive from me. He arrived in the UK in August, sat out his imprisonment in quarantine and has moved down to the coast to my sister. I had a lovely few days with him reconnecting in person before he left mine. Will be so awesome to be able to see him more regularly now :-)

$ 0.05
3 years ago

This is FANTASTIC! Glad you're united with your dad. Thank God.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Thank you my friend ...and after a short break from read.cash ... I am back, hopefully more regularly.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I am living through it myself. Your words are beautiful and heart breaking. I am sorry your Dad is the man in your article. I fear for my parents every day we continue to live here. I just want us all to get out of here and for them to be safe. They ran from Zimbabwe when Mugabe got into power, now here? We have nowhere to run.

I love your article.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I'm so sorry that you are caught up in the melee of this chaos. I feel like I am living each moment with the local community that I grew up in. It's put me on edge even here in the UK and I actually froze for a few seconds at a traffic light this morning when I saw a minibus right up behind me. I was so in the South African zone in my head that in those few seconds I forgot where I was and I was literally gripped with fear. It passed quickly, but it's almost like a PTSD effect. The fears from the past and the present are here to haunt me. I cannot imagine what it is like to be going through this on the ground. I send you so much love and blessings and am sending positive energy/prayers. I have followed you and will be reading your articles too. I suspect that your generous tip will be making it's way back to you :-) Stay safe.

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3 years ago