Towards the end of engineering at varsity, there is still not much control over oneself. When I was in class nine, I suddenly discovered that four girls from the next institution, Roll 1, 2 and 4, were probably trying to get my attention. Although I had a boys' institute, it had co-education. So there is no way they are daring to try to talk to me. Since she was very beautiful, Brilliant + the lineage was also good, all in all I liked her a lot, but I was so nervous in shame that I would run to another street whenever I saw them. They even followed me to the front of my room. Anyway, the next thing I noticed is that wherever I go, it's not very pretty, but how can I get noticed by girls. After getting up in college, there was education again. I don't know how you will take it, but believe me, there were 80/90 girls out of 200+ students. There was no one left who would be blessed to talk to me! As I pass by, I hear a lot of people saying "OK, I like it a lot" or "Your crush goes". Even there, I was empty because of my excessive shame and nervousness.
Even after being included in the waiting list of Dhaka University after the internship, the family wanted to admit him to a good private varsity in engineering instead of hoping for three subjects. After getting up to varsity, there is an open credit system, so there are new classmates in each course. Here too I have seen many girls looking at each other's faces, trying to come and talk, trying to sit in the next seat in different ways. One of my batchmates, a very beautiful girl, followed me in various ways for almost a year. Even though all the senior-batchmates were following him, Bechari was hoping that I would come to Agai. I used to see her posts on Facebook with ID search. Finally he got angry and went to another varsity. Another girl has been sitting in the next chair for a few days, I am ashamed to see that one day I got up and went and sat in another chair, she also left in anger. Such is the maximum story in varsity.
My problem is, when a female person talks to me, I actually say yes and cut off the conversation. Feeling we have 'Run out of gas' emotionally. My problem is very serious, the more I am ashamed in reality, the more shameless I am in secret. I have become addicted to pornography. Many times when the speed rises, I handle it 8/10 times a day. Feeling we have 'Run out of gas' emotionally. I think I have more physical ability, so I have to reduce the tension by shaking hands many times.
This is the dichotomy of my nature, in reality where I have never been in a relationship in spite of so many opportunities in shame, but I am very depressed about this dichotomy of my nature. Especially sitting at home in this lock down is causing more depression. Many times I feel a lack of solitude, but nothing happens due to shy nature. Posters here for the solution, I hope everyone will help. Thanks!