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So, so, so, it's again time to let my thoughts come into writing. Hoping that if you read it, you'll enjoy this.

By the way, this is me trying to write a #Fiction story. Yey. Finally, I had an idea about it. Let me see if it passes your judgements. 😅 And let's start it now.

Secret Feelings

The glimpses she has towards him and her eyes sparkled for she was in love. The man she's looking at was so sweet, handsome, and intelligent. She sighed and said, "I wish for this man to love me back". Few moments later, this aspiring lady turned red. Her crush looked back to her. She bended her head down and felt embarrassed. "I should have not stared at him for a long time", said she. Then little by little, she bended her head up, and was surprised to see the man she was in loved with, in front of her. The man asked, "Are you okay? You looked like someone with a fever?" Those concerned words he uttered, made the woman even blushed and made her felt that her heart would burst out. "N-n-no, yyyyou're mistaken. I'm okay. Y-y-you can go now. Thank you," she said with a shaky voice. He replied, "Okay, as long as you're okay. I'm going now, bye."

Although she was embarrassed, she did not regret staring at him. She thought, that made them even closer and also, the man approached her and asked if she was okay, was the most special moment for her. That made her jumped with joy. Her feelings continued until they went to the last grade in junior highschool.

She wanted the man but was not ready to have him as her lover. Nor the man she was in loved with.

Hopeless Romance

They graduated from Junior Highschool and after so many years, she got the courage to text the man.

"Hi, how are you? This used to be your classmate in highschool, Bella."

The man replied and said, "Oh hi Bella, long time no see. We've never seen each other for quite a long time. I'm doing fine. What about you?"

"I'm okay, and I feel good that you're doing fine just like me."

"Yes, I just finished my exam and I'm free now. Want to meet up with me?"

The girl got so excited and said "yes" immediately. Three days later, they met in town and ate in a restaurant. The girl can't contain the feelings she had with the man. In her mind, she thought, "Is there a chance now that we will become lovers? I hope so. Yay..."

While eating, the man was so gentle and helped the girl. They talked about stuffs like when they were still in their highschool days. They both enjoyed the memories they shared with each other.

Time to separate ways now and go home. They bid their sweet goodbyes.

They texted each other everyday. They became close friends eventually. They never skipped the day without texting each other.

Until one time, the girl doubted the man and collected the courage and said: "Hi Carl, ...." The man replied with "?". Then their conversations on the phone continued.

"I miss you Carl. Hahaha."

"Huh, I miss you too. Why are you laughing?"

"Just nothing Carl. I'm getting crazy if I don't say and ask these words to you."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm a woman but can you allow me to say this words to you first?.... Uhm, Carl, are we considered lovers?"

"Hmmm, I think yes."

"What do you mean with those words? Do you even love me?"

"Yes, I do. I love you."

"I love you too."

The conversations ended this was. The girl had mixed emotions whether she did the right thing or not. She even cried as if, the man made her expect that she was loved by him.

Few months past and they never saw each other again. Just the rare communications thru their text messages that made her hope for their love to continue. Until eventually, she gave up. She thought, "I don't want to force this man to love me back. I think, I'm the only one who loved him. I give up!" So she never texted the man.

And then she got a new boyfriend after many months. She even made it known in social media like uploading their photos together. Then one day, Carl messaged her.

"Is he the one?" With a slight sweetness felt by this girl, she replied, "Yes, he is now my boyfriend." The man said, "Why?" "Because I love him," said the girl. The conversations ended there.

After many months, Bella and her boyfriend broke up. She was really heartbroken. There was no closure. Her friends even noticed that she had blank facial expressions and would stare at something. She doesn't talk often. Her concern friend asked, "Hey, Bella, what's going on. You're blank stare makes me worried about you. Are you okay?" Then she apologized and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry for making you worried. I'm okay. I just thinking of this homework we have."

She can't really understand the feelings inside her. So she just focused on her studies. She's almost finished in her studies, when she got in loved with a man again. To cut the story short, they never became real lovers, and that, the woman was just again injured in her heart. The man's name was Lee. He tested her with this question:

"Hi, I have something to say to you."

Bella answered, "Really, what was that? I also have questions to you. Go ahead and tell me."

"Okay. This is what I wanted to say to you before."

"Oh wow, really, what is it? Tell me."

"I just want to say that, 'I love you'. Do you love me too?"

"I'm so happy. Are you serious? I actually love you too. I love you Lee."

"But there is something I wanted to tell you again, honestly."

"What is it Lee? Tell me more."

"I just want to say that I'm joking. I just tested you. Hahaha. I think, you're not used to this kinds of things. I'm joking only. Haha."

It felt like the girl's world fell down really fast. What did the man say again? He was just joking? After all those serious conversations they had? The girl asked herself: "Is there anyone there who really love me and willing to enter into a relationship with me? I guess, I'm not the lucky type. I accept that fate on myself. All the men I loved, starting from Carl, they just played with my feelings. Why did I let them play with my feelings? Why? Why? Why!!!!!???? You're so stupid Bella!!! You're the easy type! You're nothing but an easy type. Stop with your romantic dream now and never expect for a miracle to happen. Never!!!"

After all the expectations the girl had, and the thought, of letting the man love her seriously, but it was the opposite instead. She regretted everything. From the very start. She wanted to start for something new. She was always inside her room. She lives in a boarding house alone, so no one was there to attend to her. Her world fell apart. As if there was no hope.

One day, the landlady knocked on her door. "Knock, knock, knock. Bella, are you there? The water bill just came and I want to give it to you." But there was no response. So, she just placed it under the door of Bella. Many days passed, the landlady noticed that there was an awful smell coming from Bella's room. She was curious and she went closer. The smell was really bad so she called others to open the door forcefully for her.

And there they witnessed the hopeless girl. Her blood on the floor turned black. Flies were all over her room. And on the floor was the poor girl. She killed her self using a knife. And on the wall, this was written,"I hope that the next time I live, there will be a real man that will love me back. I QUIT!!! I'm so sorry." 😥😭😭😭

This is where the girl's life ended.

Ending Words

This is where my fiction ends. I hope you liked it. I mean, I hope you reached it to the end.

I made it this way because, this is what I noticed nowadays. But, I hope that, the young generations will not easily give up in their lives but face it as a challenge to grow more and mature more. And for those men out there including women, please be serious when you love. Or maybe, don't make someone hope for you. Make it clear that you're just friends and you don't plan to have her or him as your lover. Unless, that person forces you to. That's a different case then.

So yeah, love is not a game!

Thanks for reading my fiction story. Thank you. God bless us all! ☺️