I stood there gazing at the moon as if asking her all the answers that i sought. Everything in my life had been a jigsaw puzzle and i could never put them together and figure out the truth that lied behind it. It had been always like this. Me getting trapped, trapped to an extent that i had to give up in the end and had to manipulate myself that it didnt concern me anymore. There were so many things that i experienced in my life when i had yet to understand it. Thoughts that irritated me, feelings that provoked me, sights that nauseated me, i had experienced it all, had it all in my life when i never demanded it, when it wasnt even a care for me. I hated it, hated the misery when life offered me something against my choice. I was like a puppet to my life, being controlled without having a say in it.
As i got older all those blurred moments would attack me at once and just like that i would become a mess, a messed up girl who couldnt control her emotions, who had yet to figure out the thoughts, the feelings, the sights that had provoked her into finding the truth but still failed miserably cause she didnt know what she was looking for, it was just a blurred perception that all these thoughts were a lie and the truth was hiding under its spell.
But all this time she didnt quite understand one thing, it wasnt the truth that had to be figured out but the person that was hiding beneath her, the person that had yet to be discovered, the person that was her, all this time.