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"Are you okay?", sometimes just these three words are what we need. Even if we'll not be able to say everything, these ten letters made a huge impact in our hearts and minds. This one question made us feel that we matter, someone cares...we exist. This simple "Are you okay?" felt like the voice of my heart that speaks through tears that I'm holding in reached somebody's soul.
Not everyone will understand us. We don't have to tell everyone about us because not everyone will have good intentions in our stories and sufferings. Sometimes even explaining through countless paragraphs just to be understood wouldn't work. The real thing is, there are things that only you will understand so be grateful to those who listen and care for you genuinely even if they don't understand you. That one who knew you behind those fake smiles, petty lies, behind your words such as "I'm fine"; that one who's not just behind your back but also beside you to make you feel you have someone to lean on and fight with; the one who's also in front or up of you to pull you ahead. Those simple things with pure intentions serve as our connection with one and other.
Above from any disappointment from anyone, self-disappointment is the worst.
Did you ever do the same mistake repeatedly? Realizing everything later that every good thing or person you have that you did not value and let go off are the ones that are actually good for you, ones that made you happy and loved sincerely. Feeling like you're just full of mistakes and you don't deserve anyone because you're nothing special who only cause pain and sorrows but still hopes to still be loved and won't be replaced? Full of regrets?
What's done is done. The damage is already inflicted and irreversible. You can't change the past. You're already disappointed and if you realized that you're really at fault then break the cycle of just blaming yourself and regretting everything because nothing will happen but let you fall deeper in your own abyss. Start with yourself. Face the consequences. Apologize and do everything that you can do, fix what you can still fix. Don't apologize and try to make things right out of you just wanting to be free from guilt. Those you hurt might not forgive you and keep hating you. In this time you have to be stronger. This is a tiring phase, everything will feel difficult. Take a step little by little. The best apology you can give even no one believes you is you being a better person. That's the best apology that you can offer to those you hurt and for yourself. You also have to forgive yourself to lift yourself up from self-disappointment.
You matter and deserving of love. Take your punishments and don't run away. Rest but don't run. Life isn't just about this phase. What you need is to learn and be better to move forward. In this state you need yourself the most. You might feel like an untamed monster you can't control. With a sand castle faith that can easily collapse. Wanting to just hide along with your flaws...
Before wanting to have someone who will accept you, accept yourself and create a better version of you that will make you acceptable. It's okay to have flaws but there are flaws that are toxic that causes harm. This is reality, you can't just expect someone to accept your flaws when it's hurting them. They can't keep you in that way, and you can't keep a person you only bring pain more than comfort and security. You need character development and as long as possible I hope you can do this while still not losing everything from you. However, if you already lost that one or everything or feel lost, you can find your way. You can be happy... keep trying to be better for yourself. There's more to life and yourself you have to figure out.
You might be at fault but as long as you're living try to deserve the life you're given. When you're trying you'll realize that you deserve to be happy too bit by bit. Don't just live with guilt and regret. Focus on the things that you can do that will make you grow. Don't give up on yourself...please.
This is the most necessary when you're dealing with mental loads of problems. Being mentally unstable will definitely affect your physical body and energy. Move, sleep, eat. Take care of yourself. These will support your mental capability to survive. You can't actually wait for your mental health to be better so you do something, so you can gain back your energy and motivation. Your mentality will take lots of time so you need to consistently make your body active because this has positive effect on your moods and way of thinking. Keep yourself stable little by little.
Work on your mindset and train your body as habits. Do some of your good hobbies too, entertain yourself too. Good hobbies and visions maintain you for knowing who you wanted to be, be capable, direct yourself... be a great sailor of your own life.
Author's Note: As long as you're living you have a chance. You can't make everything right but you can always make yourself better then in that way you can be a right person to someone genuine. Be deserving, work on it and remember...it's for yourself the most. Love yourself and establish your worth. Goodluck!
Hope you also like my music recommendations. Hope music can help you heal too.