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I never thought about having pressure like this on my mind for study!
Because i still can remember about studied daily more than 16 hours in hostels but now everything changed .. My college is off almost passed 1 and half years but my study position still remain stable in that position i was before corona! But this do not bring my stress as i am staying whole day in front of my pc while waste my time by scrolling internet .. Infect, i can not say that i am wasting my time in online but i am earning too from online which leading by life expensive this years so smoothly .. Also i am happy with my position now!
But my stress come when ever my friends knock me in messenger then asked me out how is my study going on! Then only reply i can give is bad as i do not study even one minute in a days and this is because the situation makes me so.. While they are studying and feel cheers though there has a reason behind this because they are strong in financial way while me is not at all. Which lead me thought in the mid time of corona that i should do something instead of sit lazy like this because for dad this is not possible to carry family expensive as well my study expensive in this worst time .. So from that time i start to move my mind from study to earning money and this is the main reason why i am not in study now while feel stress when friends talk about study!
My of my online mate suggesting me that you should focus in study instead of focusing on earning money but they do not understand my position now as well my family conflict now .. Anyway, this feel cool still that they are thinking about me even lil .. I also respect what ever they say but what i do is just do not care their suggestion is also bring out my stress .
One of my friend said today that "Money will come and gone but your study time will not come again" . This touched my heart most today because i knew he is right but what i thinking is this is not a big problem .. Because when i need money then if i hunt for study , this is one kind of stupidity too. Though in this situation study is not important but money is important . But i realized myself too i am too much far away from study though i should study now as i do not know when exam will be held from the education board as they said as soon as college will open then 3 month later we will held your central examination .. But still i do not care the words come from board as i need money now so focus on earning money!
Today i really try keep myself claim when my friend said to me "you will regret for your current possition" . Because i knew still he is right and right but what should i do ? My mind not able to focus on study now and though i knew why should i study now .. Sometime feels like i should separate my time of work and study but this do not come to in reality but always get lose in my thinking world. Some friend always want your good life so often they are trying to point out mistake and asked us to solve it urgent.
Even when he was told me about study then for a moment i get motivation while open my youtube to watch some online class based on my lesson .. But still then i can not focus on study as like i needed to focus but i will keep focus on what ever my mind say to me!
As well my friend sent me about he is doing privet class near hostel from our teacher with friend which makes me inspired more to study hard!
So after out conversation he told me that " You know better about your self"
and yes i knew about myself better and my upcoming problem but i just can not prepare my self to faced those upcoming problem.. Hopefully i will get some one recently who can break down my all negative thought and able to focus me on my study again though i am trying always to focus on study..