An Intro “Myself”
Oopsss! How indifferent of me to be on read for a month now and haven’t introduced myself. Well, I was so keen to anonymity that I forgot the decency of introduction. Well… my apologies. I was introduced to this site my co-worker and I got excited, because I get to do writing and enjoy the anonymity to post articles without the unnecessary guilt or embarrassment of expressing my thoughts… unlike other social media platforms such as facebook, -im not really into other social media because it feels like all the feeds going on there spins my head… lolz. Me, un-updated on the current news and events? Oh no! I am, its just that I am kinda choosy on the topic I get interested with.
Well, my name is… RETTJEN is a combination of my hubby (deceased) and my name. although he’s been gone for almost a decade now but I’m still using the name… hmmm… gotten used to it perhaps?! A single mom of two beautiful boys… one is at his adolescence and the other is just a boy. Raising them, well wasn’t really a mess but it was all complicated u know.
Back then, my mom immediately packed up our things about 3 days after his burial. What was I supposed to do? I really didn’t have the time to think about it and how could you when the house was already empty and all our things were transported back to my parent’s house. So, by virtue of no choice, we lived with my parents. Back to mom again when I actually choose to get out of the house when my hubby couldn’t decide to live – well, his reasons was “ he was dying and he had no way of knowing how I could get by alone with kids”. Char! (HE NEVER TOLD ME HE WAS TERMINALLY ILL, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WAS DYING –yeah, im still angry about it til now, hahaha!…)??? well, the truth is… I do suck at kids. Tsk!
Okay! I don’t wanna go back reminiscing… the what ifs and nots because… if I hadn’t gone back, mama would have died too. So! Leave it be!
Now, mama is gone… her battle ended last feb 24. hmmmm… finally! On our own. It was a very long inconvenient process but wow! We are finally on our own and still, (sighhhhh), my siblings are still trying to bring us back or separate my kids from me. Wow! When will I ever get out of the grip… anyway, so much about that, God released me from there… and He will keep it that way. Sorry for the dramas…
Well, I am not a writer. Tried to do blogging but I just don’t know how… lolz… my writing skills sucks, really! No kidding. It is the reason why I get stressed if I really were to push myself making an article a day. I am not into social media, I was on facebook about a decade now because of the people I worked with, going along with them… so, well, im not sociable… not that I keep to myself but I do prefer the solace of my own company… I really don’t have so many friends, I only keep a few, bunch of them and one is actually in battle with cancer. Although, medicare is not a problem in auzie but the thought that she is alone in the hospital for most time because… and she has a husband with 2 kids? Well… one thing I hate is pretend to like someone I don’t, and I really can’t behave myself and get along. I really don’t know why but I hate it when im wearing a mask all the time and take if off when nobody sees… hahaha!
Ok! I always avoid getting noticed. Why? I am not sure… kinda shy but not really out of no self-confidence. It’s actually reverse, I’m more comfortable and confident alone. Mind you, I consider myself a bully, no one bullies me at school. They call me ‘maldita/snabera’ and I don’t know how to translate it. So, I settle with mediocrity and play dumb (even at work) most of the time until they come to engage me. Yes, I am truly different from the norms. Its been me for years.
The social media I’m so fond of these days, and over the years, is PINTEREST. Oh! I love visiting it and quite addictive. Why Pinterest? Well, it supports my inclination towards crafts, now im doing carpentry – making cabinets and all, gardening, cooking and hoping to do knitting, though I know how to crochet but I prefer to learn knitting. Perhaps one of these days, I was really hoping to learn before the end of the year. Ahh! The list of projects and now it’s Christmas! And I love it that we are on our own all because I get to do all the things I’d love to do without any reprimand because we are living on our own. Rented a studio room because an apartment is way too big for us, we don’t have furniture to begin with, just our bed. Really starting from scratch.
Oopps! I got carried away… It feels like I have written so much and it think I should be parking my pen now. Thank u for sharing your time. God bless.