In a remote Area....In my hometown way back at my young age.....

Back then, it's just a normal day to all of us, in our hometown. Why? Because we don't know then, that there is some celebration like that, for mother's, father's etc day😊. Or maybe some of us(in that place, our hometown) , knows about that celebration but they don't give much attention or if they, did celebrate it , then we my family didn't see at all.

All I know is new years , christmas valentines and womens day. I don't know if Mother's day do exists that time ,way back in 1990's to 2000.I would say that we are all ignorance. We children of that place had lack of knowledge when it comes to civilization, socializing , etc. Due to of we are far from a civilized place. We are in a remote area, in which we don't see people giving gifts to their mother for celebrating mother's day. And maybe because, we had a hard life, because farming is the only living that people had in my hometown. So I grew up, with not celebrating a mother's day yearly.

Skipping from the comfort zone....

After graduating in High School, I went somewhere far from my home, to look for someone's help inorder to finish my studies. Then I am failed and work as care giver to the mother of one member of the staff of that foundation which I belong that time.Then have my work being a care giver while studying at night as dressmaking.

To make the story short, I am already in the city. A civilized place, a lot of automobiles, jeeps bus in the street. My ignorance mind full of blast and gladness that time. And there, slowly I adopt of what happenings or celebration each day I've seen and I enjoyed for. From then, I studied and learned of why , we need to celebrate it. Actually, don't know , why how they implented it and who, and where. Don't need to tackle it too much. As long as I have any idea about it. I was greeted my mother, sisters , relatives and friends. And thanks to the social media. All remote areas if not all, most of them know already,of all everyday's happenings. The news scattered everywhere easily, that is the power of social media.

Being me, as a mother.

When I asked myself. Does they, can call me an outstanding mother?Devoted loving or caring mother? These three questions bring tears to my eyes. I leave my daughter at a very young age. To look for a job to raise her, to sustain her needs, I am a single mother. What did she really feel, that time when I left her? How did she manage to survive? Is it maybe, because she is too young at that time and she move on easily and forget the feelings with the presence of having a mother? But for me, it was so hard to move on and go along the way. I am just like crazy for more than three months. All I think that time was about her. Did she eat eat well?. Did she cry often? Did she not called me, abd cried looking for me?

Remembering my daughter while at work results into big tear drops in my cheeks. At her young age she needed to be strong to survive. Reality brings pain and I can not run away with this. Here is it, I need to face the consequences, whatever will be. I need to be strong.

I know she needed me, more than else. But I need to sacrifice for her, I have to find something good for her future. And no ones could measure the love of a mother. I love my daughter, and am hoping that I will never failed to be her real mother soon. And I need to take care, love her when the right time comes for us to reunite again.This morning, I was happy when her message pop up in my phone screen. She greeted me with a"Happy Mother's Day ma". My heart jumps with joy. I know my daughter loves me. But I am scared too, if she might have hated me for a long time. What If one day, she will have to ask me a lot of questions. Like, why would you leave me?And let other's take good care of me? Where are you, when I needed you? When times I am weak and I am sick , you are not here.

While typing this, my tears running upon my checks, I can't stop them. I will have to prepare for that time. I know, she will asked me that, from now on I will started, let her know so that she may understand and realize how much I love her.