I got shredded for saying this on Linkedin (Tale of a copywriter)

If you have done anything on LinkedIn, you have gotten a few connections. 

 

I always wondered, “What do I say when someone connects with me?” 

 

I learned the hard way what not to say… and what works so much better… 

 

“Josh - I saw your profile. We’re both in the group with David Newman and I thought it would be good to connect. - Brynne” 

 

I was SOO excited. 

 

Brynne is a Linkedin Marketing superstar these days with over 60,000 followers… but back in 2010 when I first met her, she was just starting out and so was I. 

 

I wanted to impress her and tap into her network. I figured she’d have some connections that needed a copywriter. 

 

My reply to her just about wiped out my connection with here… 

 

Hi Brynne,

 

What would your life be like if you had more charisma?

 

Command more attention. Get more people to like you, follow you, and pay you. All great leaders, speakers, and serious writers have it.

 

I invite you to join me for a limited, FREE, webinar:

 

“The Charisma Code: How to Get People to Instantly Like You and Follow You, Without Manipulation or Sneaky Mind Games.”

 

I give you 3 practical, science based, simple ways to have more charisma and influence in any setting… 

 

That was the first thing I said to her after connecting with her. 

 

We lovingly call that “Pitch Slap” 

 

It is not pretty… nor is it that well received on Linkedin.

 

But it happens to me all the time. 

 

For example, I recently accepted a connection request with a guy named Tom. He immediately replied with this: 

 

Hi Josh, I noticed you work with a lot of marketers and I was wondering if you would be interested in offering a financing option to your clients to add additional value and to add an extra revenue stream for yourself.

 

First of all, it is clearly a script… and clearly I’m not the right target audience… and clearly I have no idea who Tom is or what his real business is… and clearly I completely ignored him!! 

 

LOL 

 

Well, that is what I did to Brynne … the ol’ Pitch Slap…  and this was her reply to me… 

 

Hmm - have you met me? When you do a workshop on how to take it down a notch - let me know! 😉

 

Ouch. 

 

I remember how embarrassed and uncomfortable I felt with that reply. 

 

And, you know, I was out of line, for sure. 

 

So much of Linkedin is about relationships… 

 

But, not like becoming my best friend or inviting me over for family dinner. 

 

It is a business relationship where you know, like and trust each other. 

 

A great way to start that is with how you reply after you connect with someone. 

 

Here’s a simple formula that I like to use… and there are half a dozen templates I like to use to make it fast and easy, but this is a great pattern you can use… 

 

First… Compliment Them On Something Personal or Business

 

Notice that I don’t thank them first. I don’t tell them about me. I don’t offer them anything. 

 

I compliment them. That means I need to know something about them, but Linkedin makes this so easy. 

 

Just look at their Professional Title or the first few sentences of their summary or their picture. 

 

Everyone loves a compliment. Plus, when you talk about them, you’ll have their attention :) 

 

Second… Express Gratitude In An Alpha-Neutral Way

 

The way you say, “Thank you” is actually very important. 

 

Imagine a time in the Middle Ages when Kings ruled peasants and commanded with ultimate power. 

 

Now imagine one of those peasants asking the King for something and it being granted. 

 

How would the peasant respond? Might be something like this… 

 

“Oooohhh, thank you, your most excellent, wonderful, all-powerful excellence. I’m grateful beyond words for your kind benevolence!” And it would be mixed with bows and curtsies, etc… 

 

Now, who is in the power position - or what I like to call the “Alpha” position?

 

The King. 

 

The humble submission to his power clearly shows that. 

 

Now, what if two Kings were talking and one of them granted the other a favor. 

 

How would that King show gratitude? Might be something like this… 

 

“I’m delighted that we could enjoy a mutually beneficial exchange.” And maybe a nod of the head in the other King’s direction. 

 

They are equals and groveling and bowing is not appropriate. 

 

Now, I want you to consider this silly example the next time you express gratitude. 

 

Are you a peasant or a king? 

 

Is the person you’re connecting with your superior or your equal? 

 

I believe that all human beings are equal and, while I love showing gratitude, I don’t like prostrating myself or groveling.  

 

I like simply saying, “It’s wonderful that we can connect. I’ll keep my eyes open for how I can help your business grow.” 

 

Notice that I’m grateful and hinting that I have something to offer? 

 

Way better than groveling :) 

 

Third… Ask An Appropriate Question Focus On Them

 

Finally, I like to get to know them. Also, the person asking the questions is in control of the conversation. 

 

And while I see them as equals, I do like to lead out so they get used to following me and complying with my suggestions. 

 

So, I might ask something like this… 

 

“I noticed that you love marketing. How has your marketing approach changed during these tough times? What’s the main thing you’ve had to adjust?” 

 

Keep it focused on them. And notice that I’m hinting again that I can potentially bring value...

 

Here’s an example of how I SHOULD have replied to Brynne… 

 

“Brynne, I loved your last article on improving your Linkedin summary… especially the part about having the opening sentence in the summary show a benefit you bring to your market. 

 

BRILLIANT!

 

Hey, it's great that we can connect here. I’m going to tell some of my clients about the work you’re doing. 

 

Lots of my connections got hammered in the last recession. Luckily most of my connections grew. What did you do to survive and thrive? I’d love to hear about one thing you did that made a difference. 

 

All the best, 

 

Josh"

 

What do you think? 

 

Is that better than a Pitch Slap??  :) 

 

Here's the pattern again...

 

1. Give a Compliment

2. Be Grateful

3. Ask a Question

 

I love Linkedin. 

 

I’ve made millions from the clients I’ve picked up there.