Home is established after wedding. The new couples enter a new life. A life which they have to llive until death parts them. The life which is fill with ups and downs.
Home is ought to be joyful. Couples are to leave their parents and cleave to each other but sometimes the long affecti9on for one’s parent makes if difficult.
One of the things which cause unhappiness in the home is lack of knowledge of position and duties of husband and wife in the home. Let’s take a look at them below;
This headship means the husband should have the final say in the family’s decision. He is responsible and accountable to lead and guide the home. He needs to guide all the household in physical and every other aspect. His authority should not make him a dictator. The husband as the head should be opened to suggestions and joint decision with his wife and other members of the home. This should not give the husband guarantee to suppress the wife.
Husband must love his wife; he should have agape love. This is a volitional act of mind and appreciation of its object. He ought to love her in every condition. He must be ready to sacrifice himself for her. He should desire to know her interest, likes, dislikes, strengths, weakness, problems, needs, expectation and goals. He will not be bitter to her. Do loving deeds to her.
Husband ought to provide for home; it is the duty of husband to provide food, home and dress for the household. He the breadwinner, the care must include medical and security. Trouble often comes when wife becomes the breadwinner. She will like to look down upon the husband even though it is not supposed to be so. Therefore husband must strive to feed his house.
Husband needs to honour his wife; the husband must respect his wife. He should realized that she is an intellectual being. He must not abuse and mock her in the public. Her right must be given to her. The things which she should do allow her to do it. Treat her as the most beautiful, decent and wise woman in the world.
Husband has to be considerate too his wife; husband ought to know that women are weaker than men both physically and emotionally. It is easy for them to be tired and distressed. As such, the husband ought to encourage her in time of distress. Likewise, he should assist her in doing heavy and hard work.
Wife is an helper in the home. She can do this by;
Consoling her husband in time of distress
Giving him good advice,
Assisting her husband in meeting the needs of the family, particularly if she is in the working class,
Manage well the things the husband gives her for the up keeping of the home,
Stand by him in time of opposition and trials in life,
Protect him from danger, by alerting him of problem which is at hand ad assist him to escape,
Reveal his short comings to him. Wither the one he sees or people say considering him.
Be submissive to her husband: the wife should feel free to allow her husband take decisions concerning the family and should not try to be a control freak. The submission should be in everything. This is shown in habitual obedience to him in things not contrary to societal ethics. She ought to let her husband have the final responsibility of decisions. Discuss whatsoever she wants to do with him and seek his approval before doing it. She has to put herself wholly to disposal of her husband. She must be subject to loving husband.
The submission should not be mere outward form but of inner attitude. Submission does not make wife to be slave. Submissiveness permits the wife to tell her husband when he makes wrong or unwise judgment. However, she ought to do it with respect and honesty.
Love her husband; the wife ought to have sincere love for her husband’s being and not for the material things which her husband has. A person cannot be submissive to a person whom he does not love. It is easy for women to love men, because they are naturally built to loving.
Wife has to take care of her home; in the case where there is no house help, she needs to do it by seeing to its cleaning. By sweeping the rooms and arranging the items in the house in proper places. The children must be bathed and clothed properly. Food is prepared well on time. She should see to washing and mending the husband and children’s clothes. Husbands should not hesitate to help their wives in carrying out these duties.
Honour and promote her husband; she can do it by behaving well and dressing modestly. She should speak with wisdom and interact well with co-workers and neighbours.
Children are expected after wedding. Everybody loves to have children. In fact, many homes have broken for lack of children. Some homes are not happy because their children are bad. Some desire to have kids, but not ready for the responsibilities. Some wish to have boys and girls and when they fail, trouble start in the home. Some long for children to get fame, power and wealth. Children are gifts to home. The gift who must be cared for by the parents.
Children have duties to perform regard their parents and siblings.
They must obey their parents; this is doing what their parents ask them to do. They have to do all things which are not contrary to good ethics.
They have to honour their parents; this means to respect them. They ought to strive to do things which will not bring disgrace to them. These can be shown in their speeches to them and reaction to their instructions, their appearances before them must be in humility. If parents offend them, they should reveal their grievances in humble tone. They should not shout at them nor abuse their parents.
They ought to take care of their parents; this is needed most when they are getting old. The children have to provide essential physical need for them such as clothes, food, houses and medical care.
Assist them in home works; children can hel by sweeping, cooking, dressing home, washing and trading including caring for the younger ones. Desire to stop being dependent and long to b self-sufficient and helpful.
They have to behave well; this is doing the good teachings their parents have taught them. It is their duty to accept parental disciplines without grudges nor should they look at the parents as wicked persons when they correct them.
This is duty to brothers and sisters who have the same parents with them
Show them true love by caring for them; The ones who are elevated and stronger should take care of the less privileged or weak siblings.
Have healthy relationships devoid of envy and hatred; it is not possible that all the children be thesame status. One can be elevated above the other. They should not be jealous and hate the person who is higher. The blessed person should not oppress the other.
Encourage them to develop their potentials and warn them of dangers; Sometimes siblings may have a certain talent and they are not eager to develop it because they feel lazy, discouraged or have no fund and resources to do it, The sibling has to assist the talented one to develop it by words of encouragement and provide fund or resources at his disposal for him. Whenever you hear of the dangers coming, let the brother or sister know before it comes. If you are in position to protect, do it.
In loving one another, our dream of a world devoid of violence will surely come into existence.
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Thanks for your time.