I was taking a nap that Sunday afternoon in March when his call woke me up. He needed my help to avert a break up with his girlfriend of 3 years. "This man, how you end up always trying to get relationship advice from someone who hasn't been in one for ages baffles me."
Well, that didn't stop him from telling me his problems as he believed I would always come through for him. His girlfriend said there was no "spark" in their relationship again and everything seemed boring. So she needed a break.
"Do you do everything right and on time?"
"Yes . I have tried ooo. You know me too well."
I had a good laugh. Believe me, I always try to have a good laugh.
I told him the story of a local politician charged with delivering his ward in a general election. This politician listened to the complaints of people living on the same street with him about the need to install gates at the entrance and exit of their street. Everyone turned to him to do it and in return, they would make sure his party wins the ward.
"Hey, hope you're still there?" I asked him over the phone and he responded.
"Please save my relationship, forget this story. But I am listening. Continue."
So what did the politician do?
He bought two gates, fixed one immediately at the entrance of the street and people were happy. But instead of him to fix the other one at the exit, he just dropped it there. In the next street meeting, he told everyone that it was remaining two weeks to the election and he would really love to fix up that gate. But the gate had some issues and he has called a welder to fix it.
Everyone cheered and clapped for him. Every day, this politician made sure the welder was there very early in the morning as people left their houses to their various engagements. And in the evening as they returned, they saw the welder at work.
What did this do? It gave them hope. Hope that this gate would be fixed and there was someone working hard to make sure that happened.
On election day, people voted for his party and he delivered his ward. Before 11:00 am next morning, the exit gate was fixed.
"So , how does this your story relate to the relationship issues I'm having? I really don't want this babe to leave me."
"Hope my brother; excitement and hope. That's what I need you to bring back into your relationship."
When you tell your girlfriend you would call by 6, call by 5 and promise to call again by 8. When you promise to buy her a gold wrist watch, buy her a necklace before the time and keep her excited and hopeful about the watch.
Never see love and acceptance as a destination. Always think of something to keep the ball rolling while you're in control. Give, but keep hope alive for something much bigger. Always!
Where there is long lasting love, there is always hope for something to come and excitement laced in it. You have to try to keep that excitement alive through different tricks and means.
"Oh, now I understand what happened with your gate story. But wait, was anything wrong with that exit gate?"
"No, nothing was wrong. I told the politician to fix one and work on the other to sustain hope and excitement. There will always be something to do."
"If what you told me is the real problem in your relationship, then this little hack will fix it."
It worked for him. Hope and excitement was returned to their relationship and he proposed to her in the last week of November. They'll be getting married this December.
So here's a lesson worth sharing with your friends and loved ones; learn to keep hope and excitement alive in your dealings with anyone. Always give them something to hope for and fulfill that hope. As you're fulfilling it, bring in something new immediately.
At all times, try to deliver on that hope and excitement because if you don't, it'll turn to resentment and lack of trust.
Sometimes people are not boring. We just get used to them, they become a routine and we stop trying.
Learn to keep the spark alive!