Depressed!!!

I am this indifferent

Roi than to drink the red sky in the afternoon. When I see the red color on the chest of this glittering blue, why does the cloud freeze in my mind. I think the sky is covered with this vibrant whiteness. Bleeding in his heart today, just like my mind. I realize the bored breeze of this tired afternoon and the silent cry of this lady next to me

All in all, it's like a depressing environment.

Just then a swarm of Birhas came from nowhere and touched me.

Does he know that the tears in his eyes are like arrows in my heart now? I do not know I don't want to know. But at the moment this arrow is not going to be hit. I have never been able to and will never be able to. Breaking the silence I say,

- Girl, do you know?

That wet eye of yours accumulates the cloud of Shravan in my mind. Do you know how priceless those tears are? This expensive thing doesn't always have to be dropped, girl. Freeze.

Rupa looks at my drink with teary eyes. I'm a tonic. What a dazzling sight. I am obsessed with that. I try to understand the language of his eyes. "Fear of losing" Yes, I see the fear of losing something in his eyes. No favorite anything much favorite. Which is fully integrated into its existence. In her breath, in her faith, just her living across the city of her mind. But what is that thing? Maybe my unknown maybe-or not.

- How weird is our life? Realistic. Life is not the reality. I also ask how stupid the question is. But this life could not be so real. Even if it was not so strict.

I keep quiet when I hear about silver. I have nothing to say. Because today I am going to lose to reality. In this true life my feelings are false. But is it really so! The answer is unknown.

Seeing my silence, Rupa said again,

- Well, you can say insomnia, when do we cry?

I am silent again. We humans usually cry when we are in trouble. We have a thing to say to the mind that when the troubles go around in groups or sometimes when a bunch of depression comes and touches the troubles evaporate and flow to the cornice of the eye. Without getting any answer from me, Rupa said again,

- Do you know when we cry? We weep with difficulty and weep with joy. In fact we do not make our minds cry. There is a bright sky above our heads, just like there is a sky in our minds. That white 'smeared sky is the cloud of separation when the sky of the mind cries. Again, when the long gloomy sky is the sun's rays, the sky still cries.

I relax when I hear about silver. I realize that at this moment a sky is crying, the sky of someone's mind. And the rain of this sky is only separation and suffering.

- Would you be there to say "How precious are tears"?

Rupa said in a weak voice. The crying has subsided somewhat. The vision is below him. Maybe he doesn't want to unbalance his emotions by looking at me.

- Don't get caught up in words again and again.

- Am I talking to you? Do you think these words are fake?

- Not exactly!

- But?

- But why are these words bothering me. This is why this moment is sad. At the same time, these difficult words seem to be bothering me.

- Isn't this normal?

- Maybe!

Silence again. This silence thing seems very scary to me. This silence is telling us that at this moment all the pains of the two hearts are coming out with a sigh. Which is very painful now. I look at the silver drink again. She silently shed tears again. Before I could say anything, he said in a wet voice,

- There will be no one else to talk about how precious these tears are. So tell me what to do with these tears? So today I want to shed tears. So that these tears will not be shed for another day and for someone else.

Let it drop today wholeheartedly. Because this life-giving man will never return.

My chest throbbed. Why do these words shake my insides? Where did the sadness come from and my heart also started beating in the temple. I look up at the sky above my head. Just on a gray afternoon when I was sitting on the edge of the varsity pond enjoying the atmosphere, a girl came from nowhere and suddenly sat next to me. I didn't understand the situation immediately, but after a while I was shocked. Without telling me anything, the girl suddenly said,

- Boy, why are you like that? What is your loneliness! Why is your mind so sad? Why are there so many black clouds in the sky of your mind! কি Doesn't the sun rise behind the clouds? Do not smile in your eyes!

I couldn’t say anything at that moment that day. I was just staring at his drink, bewildered by his soft voice. I was very surprised when it got dark. Rupa is the name of the girl who is wearing Mayavara face wearing yellow sari. Although Ahamri is not Ruposhi, she can be called Madhavilata. The chubby look has a soft glow. The eyes full of maya and in that maya when the guard Kajal comes and goes to Lepte, it is as if the whole fascination is touched. I was horribly surprised again to see what this girl named Rupa saw in me when I got the title Vabhalakanta in class because of her quiet nature! I do not know He told me not to say anything when I told him the answer.

- Don't say anything, boy. Don't even want to know anything. Just listen, your sadness has clouded the sky of my mind. This cloud is not the son of hearing, this is the white cloud of autumn.

I still didn't say anything. I had nothing to say. I don't know what he saw in the middle of a quiet boy like me. I don't know how my loneliness touched him. But since that day my life has changed. That change brings me to the most beautiful moments of my life. Yes, since that day we have become two bodies one soul. He lived throughout the city of Amr. He was the moon in my night sky. That moonlight would have been a luxury in my depressed mind. We used to walk around in the sky like clouds. I keep changing slowly. I want to live. I want to live with him. I want to see this diverse beautiful world. When I sometimes wondered why the girl loved me so much, I would ask her, "Do you hear why this girl should love this boy so much?" Then he would just smile and say, "Listen, boy, has it touched my heart? It's throwing deep.But I don't want to know if I know that. And there is no reason to find love, love does not find reason. And I didn't love you for any reason. "

I didn't say anything then. I have nothing to say.

Asked to come down to his balcony at night, walking hand in hand under the yellow neon lamppost. Or rickshaw rides all over the city. This is how my love for her went on. Even in the midst of his small whims, love seemed to rain down love.

When I stood in front of him with a bunch of footsteps in a rainy moment, I would see another emotional twinkle in his eye. At dusk, when I would put a white rose mixed with Maya in his ear and he would look at me with a dazed look, I would float in the sea of ​​feelings in his eyes. Sometimes when he looked at me with haughty eyes I would recite huthat poems to break his haughtiness,

"Girl, you're arrogant

Don't do it

In your arrogance

There is a lot of silence in my heart.

Breaking the silence, I became anxious again

Don't be arrogant anymore.

An arrogance

With the sound of breaking

All the junctures of anticipation and sadness are broken.

You're stuck in that

Put me there

Where are the people who listen to the unspoken words of my mind without you

You lose the shadow that surrounds you

Deco me once there

I love you unselfishly

I'm the man to go. "

Then Rupa would look at me with her haughty throat. And he would hide his face under my chest.

In this way, I and I continue to walk the path of a fulfilling dream. Like every lover, we also dream of our full sacred union. But fate may not have helped us. We then had another year of varsity. I am the eldest son of a middle class family. A good job at the end of the study can be used to cover the medical expenses of the retired father, the state of the family and the education of the younger sister. But in the midst of all this was my love. But my love is suppressed in the abyss of duty and reality.

Rupert's family accepted a marriage proposal. There is no way that Rupa will tell me about her family. Considering all the aspects, then we have not chosen only the path called unattainable.

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- It's time for insomnia. This time I have to get up.

Rupa's words cut me deep. I looked at him and let out a sigh,

- Get up now?

- Hmm! Have to go

I can't say anything. I don't know what to say at the moment. The word "be well" is irrational here. Because I know he won't be good.

- My tears are clouded in your mind, aren't they? But from now on these clouds will not gather. Who will not remember this sad cloud ??

I am silent. In fact, I don't want to make this situation more painful by saying my unspoken words.

- One last word? You can say wish!

- Hmm!

- Even though someone else will come in my life, my tears that accumulate in your mind, these clouds should not be gathered in someone else's tears.

I just shake my head. He got up and went to the door. He kept walking without saying a word. I watched her leave. He slowly slipped out of my sight. He leaves but with him comes the memory of suffering and the lack of love.

He doesn't say anything. Yet it can be said that he loves me so much, he will love me more and more.

I am bewildered by this gloomy afternoon and think that my city is sad again today. My sky is the cloud of darkness today. Those clouds rained sadly on my city. I wonder what I should do now. Yes I know what I should do now.

I should act now. Acting to stay well.