I have always told myself that I will never fall In-love with any woman again because of my last experience with my ex, little did I know that one day I will find love again and this time so helplessly in love with her.
MY LOVE STORY
My story is something I must share with you to understand my present state of mind, heart and feelings. I have already concluded that the feeling of love and all that comes with it has left me because of my several failed relationships in the past, so I decided to fill my heart with sadness, grudges and hate instead of love, affection, respect and kindness, so I told myself Patrick! you will not give your heart away to any woman to toil with again, rather you will play along with any one who comes around with love, In fact it's was a payback time for me to collect my pound of flesh on ladies.
So I began my journey of pay back time pretending to be in love with any woman that comes around me with story of love, I was not feeling guilty of breaking people's heart, walking out of relationships was no more a hard thing for me to do, I was so happy seeing ladies cry because I felt I was paying them back for hurting me in the past. I continued in that line of payback until I met one lady last three years ago.
Our meeting was first on Facebook, later moved to WhatsApp where our communication was stronger through chatting and video calls, then one day we decided to meet with each other in person for the first time and we connected, at first I was afraid of meeting her because I didn't believe online relationship due to scammers so I was skeptical about the meeting and when we finally met, of a truth she was so beautiful with so much vibes and curves, average in height, ebony chocolate brown in complexion with her face and eyes so pretty and with her smooth smile on her face she said hello to me, I felt for her charming beauty and almost lost my stand, immediately I got myself and built my defensive wall and continued to play my cards as usual, after we met, the lady was open minded and was free with me, she was so different from the rest I have met, I could feel her good heart and good intentions looking at my face but instead, I continued to ignore it and stood on my ground to perpetuate and carry my assignment of payback time.
One fateful morning she visited again at my place for a holiday, she did every thing and showed me so much love that I couldn't resist anymore so I had to start seeing myself falling in love with her gradually, before I knew what was going on, I have already fallen for her love, affection and care. Our relationship was a distant one, but it was so difficult for me to feel her absence because she was so close to me even in her absence, I could feel her so deep and close to my heart, she gave me every reason to believe that distance was not a barrier for true love. Because of the nature of her work, we normally see each other during Christmas holidays, we only stay together once a year.
You know nothing lasts forever, after a while, we began to have issues from one argument to another and from one fight to another and we started drifting apart and within a short while we gave ourselves a break, at first I didn't feel anything nor regretted because already when we were having the issues, I started building my heart to be strong for the worst, so when we finally gave ourselves space technically, I didn't feel hurt for having problems with her but as time goes on, I began to feel different, instead of moving ahead with my life, I started feeling weird, her pictures and memories popping up on my mind every second on the way, I tried to fight it but couldn't, it kept on coming and the feeling of losing someone so special set in, before I knew what was going on, I started losing my mind, I called her severally but she didn't pick up, I mailed her severally and messaged her on WhatsApp but no response, then it was dawned on me that I have made a very big and expensive mistake of my life by losing the number one person that matters most to my heart and to my whole world and so I tried all I could to find a way to get my woman back.
I reached out to her through her siblings to see if I can get to her but her elder sister said she was not available to talk to me, I tried all I could to get her talk to me but no way. I decided to allow her be for a while, after some months I couldn't stop thinking about her even when I tried to start a new relationship with another woman I couldn't, when I look into any woman's eyes all I see is her eyes and her face. I was so helpless because I have falling so deep In-love with her even when I couldn't see her again and even when our relationship was seen technically over, yet I could still feel her around me.
MY REGRETS
The cause of our problem was all my fault because I was so hard on her, I allowed my feelings of insecurity to overwhelm my sense of reasoning and I judged her wrongly.
I took her love for granted and never saw the need to truly cherish and appreciate her good heart and good intentions towards me.
I was busy feeling on top of myself and could not see an angel sent to amend my broken heart through her.
I thought I was doing the right thing by overlooking her strength and weakness and when she left, I realised I have lost a gold fish.
MY ADVICE TO THE READER
Never you treat wrongly and take for granted the heart that cares and love you genuinely. Don't play with people's emotions and love.
Always be good to people present in your life no matter your past experience with other people.
Always pay evil with good.
And learn to show true love to your spouse.
Will I ever find my love again? It's obvious, I am helpless!
Thank you so much for reading my story! 🙏 Rafd9828
