If I have my boyfriend does he have me?

I heard the loud voice of a young girl who was 20yrs of age asking her best friend in a discussion "If I have my boyfriend does he have me? I got astonished by the statement and began to ponder on the statement and the reason why she made the comment.

Hahaha! Please before you call me a gossip and begin to ask me why I was listening to their conversation, I was just trying to dust and clean my shoes for a church programme I wanted to attend on that evening and they were sitting outside on a bench so close to my wall fence discussing and their voices and  conversations were loud enough to wake a sleeping child. So can I continue? Smiles....

Now my topic of discussion is "if I have my boyfriend, does he have me?". Apart from hearing this word from these young women, a lot of us might have asked this question to ourselves or even to our friends directly or indirectly to really get the thought and opinion of our friends so as to really clear the doubt we have in our hearts in our different relationships.

I believe that for a young girl in relationship to ask this question, there must have been some actions or weird attitudes been exhibited by the other party involved that will trigger the statement. The other party here can be the boyfriend or fiance as the case maybe.

Some of the rationals that could cause the statement in one's heart in such manner can be derived from these factors;

1. Doubt

2. Lack of trust 

3. Infidelity

4. Insecurity

5. Spending more time together.

Let me try to explain these factors listed above and also do my best to bring it to the context of this discussion so as to enable you have a clearer understanding of the effect of these factors in a relationship that involves two persons.

DOUBT

According to Oxford language dictionary, doubt is defined as a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction.

Most women if not all of them always want a man that will give them the reason to believe that they are loved and cherished at all time, in fact they will always want you to show them through words, actions, and through your serious commitment to them and when once you begin to bring down your high tempo of commitment, care, love and all you started with at initial stage, doubt immediately sets in. You may be surprised to start hearing her sing the statement to her fellow friends when they are together to discuss.

LACK OF TRUST

Some women we know today can easily  trust and at the same time go out of trust in a relationship, when you stop keeping to your promises and your words to your partner during relationship, then be rest assured that the woman will never find it worthy to trust you nor your words. Naturally woman are so soft at heart and very fragile that when you break that glass of trust in their heart it will be very difficult to fix it back.

INFIDELITY

Most beautiful and healthy relationships have really found themselves at the verge of tiring apart because this factor. When a person is In-love, there is this atom of jealousy flowing through his or her vain. So when your partner finds out that you are having a secret affair with another person, definitely you have given her the reason to feel hurt and also for such statement to be made during discussion with her friend.

INSECURITY

A woman's feeling of love and affection also starts to drop when she finds out that she is not safe anymore with you maybe because of the way you handle issues that concerns her. This maybe emotionally, physically and financially reasons as case may be. When a woman in a relationship starts to notice that you don't have her interest at heart and that all you do is to play with her emotions then she starts to feel unsafe and that is when you will begin to her such words coming from her during discussions with her friends.

SPENDING MORE TIME TOGETHER

Women love it more when you spend quality time and give them plenty of attention when being together. In most cases they prefer you drop what ever thing you are doing to come be with them anytime they want you around them. This is what makes them special and very unique and when once you are making your self available to their demand, you will not hear them complain in such manner, but if you don't do all of these things that makes them happy my dear be rest assured that she will one day tell her friend that "if I have my boyfriend, does he have me?"

In conclusion, I want to say that relationship is something one should never take for granted no matter who is involved, it's is always good to make sure you give your partner every reason to feel safe with you, feel loved and totally convinced of your love and affection. Always give your partner that courage, strength and reason to always defend you infront of his or her friends during discussions.

Finally give her reasons to always WANT TO LOVE AND BE WITH  YOU AT ALL TIMES.

I wish you all a lovely weekend, thanks for reading my article. 🙏Rafd9828