Home keeper

You don't have to see me as your servant okay! We both should do our best to manage this home and make it what we want it to be. This was Mrs Victoria"s reply to her angry husband this morning as they were quarreling with each other and their voices were so loud all over the compound where we all live as neighbors and tenant.

Most married couples and families have forgotten the main purpose of being in marriage with their spouse and have turned their partners to be their housemaids who they rely on to serve them and do virtually everything in the house. Of a truth, in our African marriage settings, starting from our forefathers from the year 1900 - 1990 even to this present day, we have seen a lot families and marriages where the women are left with the responsibility of taking care of the house chores, cooking and keeping the house clean. Most married men believed that once you paid your wife's dowry, she does not have any right to make choices and do as she likes, they feel it's their duty to control their wives's activities and movement, in this case women under them are helpless and does not have a say in their marriages. What ever pleases their heart to do, that's what they do and they don't care how the woman involved may be feeling.

On the other hand, some married women from this side of our world Africa, naturally believed that it's their fundamental and marital duty to take care of their families and making sure that everything both preparation of food, keeping the house clean, and taking care of all the necessary chores in the house are done by them, it's not in any man's duty to take care and handle such duties meant for them(women) in their various homes.

But of a truth, I ask you these questions;

Is that truly the actual meaning of marriage?

Does it signify and define an ideal marriage relationship the world at large upholds?

Is it another method of indirect slavery of women in this our side of the world who found themselves in marriage union?

Is it also another method of trying to shove the women's right and dignity under the carpet and make them look inferior to men and in their families?.

These are my personal mind blowing questions I have asked myself several times and yet I can't find the right answers to it. I believe that marriage relationship should be seen as a mutual one where two different Individuals who agree to come together in love and understanding, helping each other to grow personally and as one body, and also to start up a family they will join hands to build together. This was the reason the bible made it clear that a man shall leave his mother and father and cling to his wife and they two shall become one.

If the word of God should see marriage of two persons as one, why then are we seeing marriage over here as one sided union? I watched a movie titled HOME KEEPER and in thIs movie, a woman was seen as the person that does every domestic work in the house and she does not have time for herself while the husband goes around to catch plenty of fun with his friends and at night he goes to the wife to still force her to perform her conjugal duties as his wife without having any feeling that this his wife is not just a sex toy but also her partner who should be respected.

Who told some men that it's their right to treat their women as garbage bags? And who said a man can not also help the wife to make the work load in the house simple and easy for their wives? In as much a woman is seen as a helper to the man in marriage relationship, the man should also have it at the back of his mind that women should be treated with utmost respect, love and care and must not be seen as a tool to be used to achieve any domestic or whatsoever task in the house.

Remember, husbands love and cherish your wife at all times as bible instructed.

For a marriage relationship to survive, everybody involved should see each other as one and must be treated with love and respect. The service of the home should be handled as one not just one sided, the husband should be able to help the wife in the family, while the wife should also help the husband in all things. Marriage is a partnership not a means to enslave anybody no matter the condition and situation that arises.

If we all should stand with each other and be the best helping hands to one another in our marriages and homes, the society and the world at large will be a better place for all of us to live and enjoy.

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