Hello my great friends here, I hope we all enjoyed our weekend? Let's keep doing our best to share our experiences, knowledge to the world so as to change our world to a better place. Let me drop this wonderful personal experience here for you to read and share in my experience.
Often time we wonder and bury our thoughts and minds to the things of the past, mortgaging our future because of one or two incidents that happened in our lives when we were growing up, it could be love, relationship, business failures, disappointments, etc. Because of all these failed incidents in ones journey of life, the person decides to give in to self pity, emotional trauma/ torture, hate, regrets, unhappiness and sadness of the mind and heart on everything that comes on his or her way.
I will tell you a personal story about the experience I had in this regard, this incident almost ruin me and all that I hoped and aspired for, if not for the quick intervention from friends and family around me at that time.
Now hear my story, I was in a love relationship for about 4yrs, with this beautiful young lady by name Justina, the relationship was healthy, loving and filled with every beautiful thing as at the moment we shared all the love together. In fact, we started dating before I gained admission to study Library Science in one of the federal polytechnics in my country Nigeria, when I got the admission I left immediately to study and during that period we were communicating and still held the love affair so strong and going, eventually I got in my 3rd year in school then she joined me to study estate management in the same school as a beginner.
I did everything for her and showed her so much affection and care both financially and emotionally to the best I can because I was studying and doing some other little jobs to get cash to support myself in school at the same time, although it was a very difficult one because of the nature of our system of education down here to work and study as a regular. Because I had good intention of marrying her immediately after school, I made sure she was comfortable in school, I rented an apartment for her and made sure all the necessary property she needs to stay in the house with were provided to her so as to help her study well. Just to let you know how serious and extent of commitment I have made with her, our parents knew about our relationship because I made it open to everybody that related to her and me, even to my course mates in school.
When all these were going on, I didn't know she met a guy who lives the next building beside her hostel, the young man was also a student in the same school but studying civil engineering, she was going out and dating secretly with the young man, some of my course mates who lived around her hostel who knew that I was in a relationship with her saw what she was doing with the said guy on several occasions told me that they saw my girlfriend with another guy hanging out and visiting the guy in his apartment even sleeping over, I didn't believe their story because I was so much in love with her and trusted her. I told myself I will not accept what these colleagues of mine was telling me until I see it myself.
On 14th February of that year when the world celebrates Valentine's Day, I went to see her and also take her out so we can celebrate together in the evening, to my greatest surprise, I couldn't find her at her place, right there I called her mobile line in disguise to know if she was at home, she replied to me that she was at home and reading her books for a test she will be having the next day, she didn't know I was already at her place that moment as I was calling her, I didn't know she went to the guy's apartment to celebrate with him, when I finished the call, out of curiosity I went straight to her room door and found out that her house was padlocked and she was not around.
I called her mobile line back, she picked the call I asked her again where she was? She said to me that she was in her room studying and immediately, I told her but I am already at your place and your door was locked with padlock and no one was around. She had to cut the call at once, after 20mins of me standing in confusion and lost in thought she hurriedly came out of the blues looking so different with her cloth so wet and her eyes down and weak and she said, I went to see my girlfriend off who came visiting. I was so angry that night so I left at once after handing over to her the valentine gift I came to surprise her with that night.
One faithful afternoon after my lectures, a friend of mine visited me in my apartment so I told him to escort me to visit my girlfriend in her house so I can give her some food stuffs I bought for her, on reaching to her house I didn't see her but her house door was unlocked so I came in and saw her girlfriend In the room and I asked her where her friend went to and that she has not picked my calls since I was calling her, she told me she left her phone to meet someone at the next building, you could see the next building she went to from her house because her room was at the first floor of the hostel she is staying, when I came out from her room I saw her coming out of the guy's room with the guy holding and giving her a goodbye kiss, I was shocked and dumbfounded, immediately I shouted her name and when she saw me she ran inside the guy's room, I couldn't hold my heart that moment, the young man came out and hurriedly came to her house and met me to really understand what was going on. When the guy came, he introduced himself to me and told me that he didn't know that she was my girlfriend and she never discussed anything with her about me. I was speechless at the moment because this was a girl I have been giving out my heart to, my time, my love and everything and we never had any issues whatsoever at the moment we were together, in fact, she was even telling me that I was the best and the most caring man ever in her life and nothing will ever make her cheat on me, I was surprised she could hurt me in that manner.
To be sure of what the guy was saying, I asked him to go and bring her so we can discuss and settle this, when she came I asked her that this young man said you guys were dating and what does she have to say about it? After a while, she began to speak and these were her words to me;
" Dear, you have been so wonderful and very kind to me ever since I met you till this moment, you have never failed to provide for me and to show me how much you love me for 4yrs till this moment, you have never for a second given me any reason to have doubt for your undying love towards me, I have loved you right from the first day I saw you up until the moment you assisted me to gain admission to study with you in the same school, but these few weeks I have met this young man and I don't know what came over me that made me to give in to his advances and start dating him, I do not have any reason for now for loving him more than the way I loved you. Please forgive me and I have made my choice."
Immediately she finished saying those words to me she ran away and that was it. I told the young man bro! You have won your trophy, please enjoy your winning! I hurriedly left her house at once and never showed my face at her place again, all the properties I bought and house rent I paid, I never asked her refund me nor return them back to me, I left everything for her.
This incident happened at the time I was about writing my semester exams and the emotional pain and heartbreak were so much that I couldn't read my books not even have the strength to eat nor do anything for myself because I was shattered and heartbroken. I was depressed and cried out my eyes because the level of love and feelings I had for her was overwhelming and thank God I didn't commit suicide during that moment (smiles...) Thank God once again for my friends and family who really helped me to come out of the situation I found myself.
For more than 6yrs after my graduation from school after the incident I never gave in to love again. I vowed never to give a chance to love, I shielded myself from emotional attachment of any kind to any opposite sex. I was holding unto my past experience and never allowed myself to experience another beautiful thing called Love.
After a while I began to notice I was not happy with myself even when I stopped being in a relationship I could not find happiness being single, not loving and be loved by someone in return, so I decided to give myself a second chance to feel this special feeling of love and loving someone again.
One should never embrace and dwell in the whole rythem of the past. Though, it is said that the past makes way for the present and future. The past is like a two edged sharp sword to life, it can bring joy and also sorrow to the beat of life. Sometimes, the past defines the attitude in making decision, reasoning and understanding.
Never allow your past to define your NOW!
Thank you for reading my article. Rafd9828🙏
It not an easy decision to make because I'm trying so hard not to bring in my past in my present relationship but it still stuck in my head that it affecting my man because despite all the love he showed I still feel like he's still going to fuckup.